15 Minutes Could Save You 15%… It Could Also Give You the Clap

No, this is not the plot of an “Always Sunny” episode, this is all true.

A woman in Missouri caught HPV after having sex in the back of a car with a Geico insurance customer and decided to sue the insurance company for millions.

Crazy right? Well, maybe not.

The court of appeals in Missouri ruled in favor of the woman who said she had unprotected sex in the back of a car with her former partner in 2017.

After realizing something was wrong, the woman in question went to the doctor, got diagnosed with HPV, realized it could only have been from this man and sent a letter to Geico asking for $1 million. Geico denied and the case was sent to arbitration where the arbitrator sided with the woman and awarded her five times what she originally asked for, so Geico tried to take the case back to court.

The first court said the man was indeed liable because he did not disclose his STD infection (what an asshole), and because it was in an insured car, the lady was justified in going after the insurance company.

The case went to the appeals court which sided again in favor of the woman saying Geico’s claim that ‘STD as a result of car sex’ was not included in the policy was not a strong enough case.

$5.2 MILLION in damages were awarded.

No spokesperson for Geico wanted to comment and get this, according to court records the lady didn’t even have a lawyer! Legendary.

I didn’t know Geico had such good coverage. Maybe after this case, the STD package will be an optional add-on for car insurance. The dude who gave the woman the STI’s insurance rate totally went up after this.

Would you get HPV for $5 Milly?

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Written by Ben Mulry

Masshole. Division 1 (intramural) College Athlete. Correct Take Haver.

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