Armageddon 2: Not A Movie, A Real Life Mission That Is Really Happening

Seriously, can the last two years get any fvcking worse? Covid wiped out 2020. Biden’s overreach is wiping out 2021 (get your “Let’s Go Brandon” shirt). An asteroid could wipe it all out in 2022 … maybe that isn’t all that bad?

Here is the truth: NASA is launching a spaceship with the intention of smashing it into an asteroid, hoping that it will divert it.

The Double Asteroid Redirection Test (DART) is mission scheduled for November 23. It is designed to launch a spacecraft, which UK-based outlet the Telegraph describes as the size of a ‘golf buggy,’ with the goal to hit an asteroid at 14,763 mph!

All we need is Liv Tyler standing around with NASA scientists to wait and see whether this impact will be able to alter the speed and orbit as well as give us pause to know if it is Ben Affleck or Bruce Willis that stayed behind.


“We’re going to demonstrate one technology to cause that deflection that, someday, if we need to, we might use to prevent an asteroid from hitting the Earth,” explained Tom Statler, a scientist at NASA. “We certainly hope that we will never have to deploy an asteroid deflector, but we want to do the test now.”

Oh… wait… this is just a test?
Just to see if we can do it?

Why would that not be the start of every article about this fvcking thing? It is buried at the end of everything I have read… so I buried it at the bottom of this. Sorry.

The spacecraft expected to intercept ‘Didymos’ in September 2022… but the damn asteroid doesn’t actually have a path to hit us. This is just a game of let’s see what fvcking happens? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!??!

Well, whatever. Scientists are trying to have fun to distract from how shitty the world is around them, I guess?

Here is a breakdown of all the shit that Armageddon got wrong. Which is a lot.

Photo by NASA on Unsplash

Written by Malcolm Henry

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