Burger King Is Trying Hard(er) To Burn Your Asshole With Ghost Pepper Nuggets

I do not each much in the way of fast food. Once a year, in March, I will go to McDonalds and get a 20-piece and a Shamrock Shake. Sometimes I will get some Wendy’s or Arby’s — the undisputed best fast food joint — but, Burger King has a special place in my heart for consistently trying to evolve itself to keep up. This time, it has gone too far.

First it is pushing “Impossible” food options. Gotta say, this is flat bullshit. One, what is the market for this? Does Burger King think there are a bunch of Leftist’s out there that are just waiting to pick a fast food place? They are happy eating bugs (and trying to convince you to do the same). And two, among those that already eat at Burger King… do any of them want this as an option?

This is two failures in one expansion opportunity. Even if they think it is a great idea:

“This isn’t the first time we’ve teamed up with Impossible to make waves in the industry,” Ellie Doty, Burger King North America chief marketing officer, said in a statement. “So, it’s only fitting we’re the first global QSR (quick-service restaurant) to test the Impossible Nuggets. We’re excited to hear what our guests in the test markets think of this latest innovation.”

Oh, also… they fine printed this little piece of brilliance: The Impossible food items are made from plants, but will be cooked in the same oil as meat and cheese products.

Fvck yes. Enjoy your meatless products that are cooked in meat products.

Back to the Ghost Pepper Nuggets.

Again, where is the market for this? If you are ordering nuggets from Burger King you are:

* a child — who will not want ghost pepper nuggets …
* wasted — and should not want ghost pepper nuggets…
* doing a dare — and can get better food than ghost pepper nuggets (from BK)

According to the release, the Ghost Pepper Chicken Nuggets are a limited item and will be available at Burger King restaurants nationwide. The nuggets are made with “white meat chicken and spiced with fiery ghost peppers.”

It also stated that members of the chain’s ‘Royal Perks’ loyalty program get access to the spicy nuggets in the app starting Wednesday, before debuting everywhere on Monday.

There you have it… if you want Impossible(y nasty) food or to make your asshole look like the Japanese flag, members earn 10 Crowns for each $1 spent on their purchases at participating restaurants… so sign up now, at

Written by Malcolm Henry

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