Malcolm Henry
This is not the Sex Pistols that your brother grew up with.
This is not the money shot everyone tunes into PornHub for.
This is not the crotch shot you see when watching WWE.
Okay, I’ll stop.
Lauren Hunter Daman of ‘Chaterbate’ fame(?) shot herself in the vagina while making a kink video for her subscribers and had to be rushed to the hospital.
“The female had shot herself in the vagina accidentally,” first responder Brittany Rivers reportedly told police, at least according to a report by the Upson County Sheriff and first reported by the Smoking Gun.
(Really, the smoking gun reported this first, fvck yes)
Officers were initially called to the scene to investigate an “accidental gunshot wound”, according to the police report. Upon arrival they interviewed Daman, Rivers, the two roommates at the house… one of their MOTHER’S!
The quotes are epic. Get ready:
Jordan Allen — the reported owner of the 9mm — said that he was “in the kitchen walking back to the bedroom when he heard the gun go off.” When he went to check on the commotion he said that she had shot herself in leg and apologized.
Apologized?
How’s that go?
“Hey, sorry, did that gunshot wake you up from your nap? Yeah… I shot myself in the…”
Oh, she also lied to the police conflicting the story Allen told… when she said the gun went off during consensual sex.
“Don’t kink shame us, but he had that gun in deep and the trigger just went off…”
Is that lie better than the actual truth?
Another, ummm, witness(?) — Cody Starnes — told police that his mother, Addie Ruth Johnson, came into his bedroom and told him that Daman had been shot.
Another priceless opportunity.
“Yeah, that cam girl blew her vagina off. Go back to bed, the police are on the way.”
Upson County Sheriff Dan Kilgore told the Smoking Gun that the department classified the situation as “reckless conduct” in their report, and it will likely not result in any criminal charges.
Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash
