Malcolm Henry
Winter is here and as such it is time to pay attention to the needs of your front hole (see, we can be politically correct here) … and one of those needs, according to experts, is to avoid ‘winter vagina’
Now, to me, ‘winter vagina’ is when womanscaping stops and those panty hampsters emerge… but, that is not the case. ‘Winter vagina’ is actually a medical condition that we should all be concerned about.
Mary Burke, a former National Health Service midwife in the UK and senior clinical nurse at the London Bridge Plastic Surgery & Aesthetic Clinic, told the Sun recently that women may well suffer more with vaginal dryness during the winter months. Sorry, ladies.
“Dry autumn and winter air depletes moisture from our bodies, leaving our skin dehydrated and cracked, and our sinuses parched,” she said.
“And while it’s an issue few will want to discuss openly, our vaginas can enter ‘drought mode’ during this time, too.”
DROUGHT MODE?
DaFuk is this…
Good Lord that is a thing?
“When we spend a lot of time in air-conditioned rooms, or with the heating on, we’re living in air which carries very little moisture. And the dryness we experience can often extend to every inch of our bodies — including our most private regions.”
According to these experts there is also a bevvy of really shitty side effects of this that I do not want any of you to deal with:
Symptoms include:
- discomfort, irritating or a burning sensation
- discomfort during sex
- going off sex
- difficulty getting aroused and reaching orgasm
- the surface of your vagina looking pale and thin
- narrowing or shortening of the vagina
- needing to urinate more than usual
- repeated urinary tract infections
Fortunately the experts also listed out nine ways to not deal with ‘winter vagina’ and I am going to recommend you do them all.
1. An apple (juice) a day
2. Eat your greens
3. Right pair of (water)melons
4. Bunch of coconuts
5. The sweet spot
6. Stress less
7. It’s getting humid in here
8. Like to move it, move it
9. Ban the bubbles
If you are interested in knowing more about those nine things, go read the Sun.
