I love that headline. Don’t care what you say.
Anyways, a Florida man who seriously goes by the nickname “the Monkey Whisperer” pleaded guilty to illegally transporting and selling primates, including a species considered endangered.
First: this is why we don’t let people pick their own nicknames.
Second: please do not tell me an origin story of how this guy rose to be what he is would not be fascinating.
Jimmy Wayne Hammonds pleaded guilty in federal court to violating the Endangered Species Act and Lacy Act, according to court records. This dude now faces up to eight years in prison.
Eight fvcking years of his life… wow.
The prosecutors in the case said that Hammonds owned and operated a wildlife breeding and sales business called The Monkey Whisperer, LLC, — so, he was not trying to hide it that much ORRRR he really loves that fvcking nickname — a business through which he tried to sell a capuchin monkey to a buyer in California.
I’m sure you are shocked to learn that the proposed buyer could not legally own the animal. Which is bad news for ole Jimmy.
Hammonds was accused of organizing the illegal transport of the monkey across the country, where authorities seized the animal from the buyer’s California home, according to the Justice Department.
Feds, amirite.
According to an indictment, Hammonds also sold endangered cotton-top tamarins, a species of endangered primates, to buyers in Alabama, South Carolina and Wisconsin, then concealed the animal trafficking by submitting false records to authorities and attempting to persuade a witness to lie to law enforcement.
Dude’s Posting Their L’s Online…. y’all can just copy this.
