Malcolm Henry
Seattle Seahawks backup quarterback Geno Smith was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence. Washington State Patrol pulled him over for going 96 mph in a 60 mph zone and driving erratically across several lanes of traffic, according to an arrest report released Tuesday.
The report, however, also contained a lot of other tasty treats that did not get mentioned in most press pieces about the situation.
Namely… Smith telling the cops that they had small dicks and that he would beat all of their asses. If he wasn’t in handcuffs. Of course.
One of the officers wrote in his report, “I joked with him about how my wife thinks I work too much. Somehow he said that’s because ‘you have a little dick.'”
“I said, wow, maybe that is the problem, then he said you have a little dick, ‘you have little dick syndrome.'”
I have had two interactions with police in my life. At no point did I think that the right play was to tell them that they had little dicks.
I was pretty much just doing whatever they told me to do with a “yes, sir” attached to it.
Geno went in another direction.
“I’ll fvck every one of y’all up,” one officer reported that Smith told them.
Another added that Smith told them, “you don’t want to see me out of these cuffs, you don’t want to know what will happen.”
According to the arrest report, the state trooper “detected a strong odor of intoxicants and observed the driver had bloodshot, watery eyes.” Smith told the state trooper he had some wine earlier in the night but had stopped drinking 90 minutes before he was pulled over.
That timeline means that he buried a bunch of wine — enough to think it was a good idea to make dick jokes and threaten officers — but right after the Seahawks beat the Cardinals.
Aggressive.
Smith also declined to take a preliminary breath test and forced the cops to get a judge to issue a search warrant for a blood test.
Smith was taken to a hospital where he became agitated prior to the blood draw, even with the Seahawks’ director of team security present to try to calm Smith down, according to the report. Restraints were used to complete the process, troopers wrote.
Smith released a pretty flimsy statement about the incident:
“Being arrested brings a taint onto the reputation that is impossible to undo, no matter what really happened,” he said. “I’m asking all of you to hold back on judging me the same as you would do for a friend or family member. I’ll have more to say down the road & ask that you bare with me.”
