Guys, Stop Being Losers. Stop Buying ‘Jars of Farts’ From YouTubers

I can not believe that I have to say this: Do not be the incel simp that is spending $1,000 to buy farts in a jar. Fvck.

90 Day Fiancé “star” Stephanie Matto is claiming that she is making a ton of money because guys are fvcking idiots and buying her farts. Which she jars and sends to them. This has to be some broken timeline that we are on.

“I thought farts were super niche, but also something fun, quirky and different,” Matto, 31, told Buzzfeed.

The YouTuber-turned-D-list-celeb-but-actually-just-a-sex-worker, said that her work on her “adult subscription site” has opened her eyes to all these niches that guys are willing to throw money at.

It was her Unfiltrd page that made her “very aware of the different types of niches and markets that are out there” because her fans wanted to buy her worn panties and her used bathwater. 

Y’all are fvcking losers.

So… now she is out there making TikToks of her farting in jars and taking it super seriously.

This is a real thing that is really happening?

“I usually follow a pretty strict diet, but I do allow myself 1-2 cheat days every single week, and those are the days that I will indulge in specific types of foods that I know will make me more gassy,” she told Buzzfeed. “I also like to combine my ‘product’ with something that smells like me, so I spritz one of my favorite perfumes into each jar to give customers the most immersive experience…I put a small fabric petal or flower into each jar – it’s aesthetically pleasing and also allows the scent to attach to it and last longer.”

Matto also claimed that she has been selling these fart jars at a “heavily discounted” price of $1,000.

Guys, if you have $1,000 of expendable income to spend on this just venmo me like $100 of it so I can write a few less of these articles a day.

Oh, sorry, the farts come with a personalized note.

Well that makes all the difference.

Matto said that she had already sold 97 jars, which is ridiculous, because the freakshows that are buying this are people “that like collecting oddities and are either fans of me or of 90 Day Fiancé. I think I’ve really tapped into a huge market, and there seems to be endless potential,” she concluded. “I am grateful that I am able to entertain, spark debates and discussions, and open people’s eyes to different ways of life.”

Guys. Stop this.

Ladies. Apparently there is a market for it. Get yours.

Photo by Milan Popovic on Unsplash

Written by Malcolm Henry

To comment, fill out your name and email below.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Pure Joy: Walkoff Jack At Miracle Park To Cleanse Your Timeline

Underrated Pornstar Of The Week