He Competed In The Olympics And All He Got Was A Frozen Penis

Remi Lindholm, a skier for Finland, finished in 28th place in the cross-country event at this year’s Winter Games. For his troubles, Lindholm ended the competition with the fvcking worst consolation prize imaginable: a frozen penis.


A. Frozen. Penis.

He said that he began suffering frostbite on his third pole during the race but just kept pushing through the pain.

“You can guess which body part was a little bit frozen when I finished,” Lindholm told the Finnish media. “It was one of the worst competitions I’ve been in. It was just about battling through.”

The event itself was delayed by an hour and then shortened to 30 kilometers instead of 50 in an attempt to protect the competitors.

That fvcking failed.

Amazingly this isn’t the first time Lindholm’s penis has froze mid-race, he says, as a similar incident happened during a cross-country skiing event in Finland in 2021.

Seriously, if my dick froze EVER… I would not attempt to participate in whatever made it freeze a second time.

Hard pass.

“When the body parts started to warm up after the finish, the pain was unbearable,” he added.

Hell. Fvcking. No.

Written by Malcolm Henry

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