Malcolm Henry
Elizabeth Russett of New York, fvck you. Also Spencer Sheehan, her attorney based on Long Island, fvck you as well.
Russett, you see, is suing Kellogg for $5M and alleging that its “Whole Grain Frosted Strawberry” Pop-Tarts are deceiving consumers by failing to properly warn them that strawberries are not its only fruit filling ingredient.
Again, fvck you. And your attorney.
“Strawberries are the Product’s characterizing ingredient, since their amount has a material bearing on price and consumer acceptance, and consumers expect they are present in an amount greater than other fruits,” the suit asserted. “The Product’s common or usual name of ‘Whole Grain Frosted Strawberry Toaster Pastries,’ is false, deceptive, and misleading, because it contains mostly non-strawberry fruit ingredients.”
In this ‘case’ the lesser fruits are pears and apples.
Russett claimed that she would have never purchased the strawberry Pop-Tarts — or would have but maybe at a lower price — had she actually known the truth. Good gracious. You asshole. You knew because it is written on the ingredients list.
“Consumers deserve to know that when they see something labeled as ‘strawberry,’ it mainly contains strawberry,” Sheehan told NBC News. “Words have to have some meaning.”
“A reasonable consumer knows that this is a toaster pastry a quarter-inch thick. We know we’re dealing with filling going into a pastry,” he added. “Of that fruit filling, they should be able to expect that it’s mainly strawberry.”
Sheehan acts exactly as you would expect. He is the “your*” replier on social media.
According to NBC News, he has filed over 100 lawsuits against companies that he alleges falsely advertises their products.
Tell me you have a micro penis without saying….
“I enjoy it. I always hated the small thing you could never get a redress for. Maybe you don’t get a refund at a store. Maybe you get cellphone charges crammed on your bill. All those little things that we experience every day and accept without a thought. ‘Oh what’s the big deal, it’s just a quarter?’” Sheehan said. “It adds up over time.”
This guy is among the worst of the worst.
Anyways, NBC News reached out to other legal people that are filing actual cases and they said this dude sucks as much as it sounds.
“The notion that any plaintiff was moved to buy the products because of their belief that the products contained more strawberries than they actually do is likely to run into the reality that many, many consumers like the products because of the trusted brand with which they are associated or even just the taste or texture of the product,” Adam Fox, a partner at Squire Patton Boggs, said.
This is not the first time people tried to score a “they’re*” on big brands and it won’t be the last. Not so long as folks like Chuckles McShitstain are out there…
As NBC points out, in 2009 Quaker Oats was sued for Crunch Berries not containing any actual berries.
“This Court is not aware of, nor has Plaintiff alleged the existence of, any actual fruit referred to as a ‘crunchberry,’” the judge wrote in his dismissal. “So far as this Court has been made aware, there is no such fruit growing in the wild or occurring naturally in any part of the world.”
Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash
