Crocs Suck, But Making ‘Luxury Crocs’ Sucks Even More

If you are working in the back of the house at a restaurant then I can accept your decision to wear crocs. If you are doing literally anything else, there is no reason for these abominations to be on your feet.

They were fvcking awful when they first came out. They are fvcking awful to this day.

Now that we have established a baseline… there are those among us who think that just having to decide if they should have their crocs in sport mode or not is not enough… that they need to have custom, luxury crocs.

That isn’t a thing.

I should not have to explain this.

However, here we are.

Zara has released a pair of crocs with faux fur on them.
I don’t know.

What I do know is that if you buy these you are the fvcking worst.

Let’s go to the tape:

You are an absolute asshole if you have these on your feet.

Again, for comfort while working in a kitchen… Crocs are good.

For literally any other reason, you should simply do better and not embarrass yourself.

If you think spending any amount of money on this — and having the detachable fake fur — then we are not the same. You are the worst.

Written by Malcolm Henry

One Comment

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  1. Also, you shouldn’t be wearing Crocs in a kitchen. I don’t want to think about your only mostly covered feet in a space where my food is prepared. Closed-toe shoes in kitchens, please and thank you.

    In the interest of not taking away all places where Crocs can be worn, may I suggest communal showers (without the fur, clearly), such as you would find in a dorm, and/or walking to/from said showers. But otherwise, yeah, hard pass.

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