If you were planning a champagne and Viagra cocktail for the next mountain trip weekend, use this as a cautionary tale.
Rob Andrews, a 32-year-old rental car manager, and his wife — Isabella Woolf, 25 — decided that for their third anniversary a weekend of bondage and booze was the perfect celebration. To make sure that he could just fvck non-stop, Andrews added the little blue pill.
It did not go as planned.
“He was in agony and thought he had broken his member, so we called an ambulance,” Woolf told The Sun.
Oh… he did.
“For our third anniversary, we rented a cabin in the country and ordered loads of sex toys, bondage gear and booze.”
“Rob felt under pressure to perform the whole weekend, so he bought some Viagra off the internet. We cracked open the champagne and one glass led to three bottles.”
Woolf continued: “The Viagra worked a treat, and we were having a sex marathon.”
Well… apparently they celebrate anniversaries a little differently in England than we do here in the States.
Anyways, back to the cabin …
“His manhood must have been suffering, but I didn’t notice as I was drunk. I jumped on top of him and heard a crack then saw lots of blood.”
Heard a CRACK.
SAW LOTS OF BLOOD…
How fvcking hard did you ‘jump back on top’ … goodness….
As paramedics arrived, Woolf was overcome with embarrassment and was too concerned with Andrew’s broken dick to tidy up the cabin.
“It was mortifying when they arrived. In all the drama, we’d forgotten to hide all the sex toys, whips and chains,” she said.
X-rays confirmed a broken penis for Andrew, still filled with booze and pills.
I keep going back to “heard a crack and saw lots of blood” … not sure what else I can add here.