Man With World’s Largest Penis (Not Named Pete Davidson) Has One Massive Complaint

First of all, take another look at this fvcking guy. The Good Lord Above decided that this guy should get the biggest crank on the planet? I mean, I guess he has a plan for everyone….

Look at this fvcking guy… he has a 13-inch dick, you don’t.

Anyways, now that the obvious is out of the way, here is the information: Jonah Falcon (his real name) is busting out a 13-inch howitzer when it is go time. Good for you, bro.

He has banged countless porn stars, celebrities, and regular ladies who just like getting stretched out. I mean, why wouldn’t he.

Anyways, Part 2, he says it isn’t all fun and games — even though his complaint does sound a little like fun and games.

“I’m sick and tired of having people wanting me to measure it in front of them. I’ve done it 10,000 times – enough already!” Falcon told ITV.

Waaaaah, waaaaaah, waaaaaaa…. I have to pull out my enormous cock and show everyone just what a half-horse, half-man looks like.

“For some reason, having 13-plus inches means I’m a bad person, or I’m egotistic, or I’m a porn star, or I’m dumb, or I’m a slut,” Falcon complained a bit to “This Morning” show hosts Phillip Schofield and Josie Gibson.

I mean, you are going on a TV show to talk about your dick… so…. there is some sort of ego involved, right?

“I look down, there is nothing special. I don’t compare it to objects, but when I take out the rulers I am like ‘OK’,” Falcon added.

C’mon, bro. Stop.

When you helicopter that shit you might legit take off…

Falcon is 51… he is also an ‘actor’ who is a mostly known as a frequent guest on the Howard Stern Show. He has had smaller parts (see what I did there) on Melrose PlaceThe SopranosLaw & OrderThe Daily Show and just about anywhere else that will give him screen time.

But, back to not wanting to talk about his dick, Falcon concluded with:

“It’s a real compliment when porn actors and actresses say I’m bigger than all of the partners they’ve had,” he said. “They view me as the biggest and you have to remember they’ve seen a lot — so they know.”

But, again… don’t ask him to talk about his dick. He doesn’t want to… except that he does all the time…

Written by Malcolm Henry

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