Mike Tyson Saved Countless Lives By Having Sex

For a period of time that I am not sure has ended, Mike Tyson was (maybe still is?) the baddest man on the planet. He had the fastest hands in boxing. He hit like freight train. Really, you wanted nothing to do with this guy when he was in his prime — not that you would today, but moreso then…

Anyways, his former driver — who was also apparently tasked with lining up women for Tyson to plow — said that pre-fight sex saved lives.

“Mike would say, ‘If I do not get laid, I will kill this guy right now.’ Sometimes he’d go in with [the women] for a minute, bang the shit out of them, snap his neck and say: ‘OK, this guy is going to live tonight,’ ” Rudy Gonzalez told The Sun.

“He had to get laid to disengage some of the strength he had. So I had girls tucked away in bathrooms and changing rooms.”

That is the type of wingman we all need.

It is also someone that countless boxers should send a Thank You card to.

Tyson probably came (wait, what) close to killing some dudes. Fortunately for them he was less than 100%, or at least he thought he was.

“It is no exaggeration to say Mike was like a train hitting these guys,” said Gonzalez. “Having sex was his way of disengaging that power and loosening up a bit.”

Medically, this is not a real thing. Getting a nut off is not going to make you weaker for some extended period of time.

An orgasm can make you feel tired and sleepy, which may make you feel slightly weak, but only for a very temporary period of time. A prolactin hormone is released during ejaculation and (as per studies) it can influence sleep and make you feel a little tired.

But, if it made Tyson not think he was going to kill someone, I won’t argue with his logic.

Written by Malcolm Henry

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