Mom Steals Identity, Goes To College, Bangs Dudes, Gets Arrested

This story is about two things: First, this woman is stupid. Second, every guy she scammed is equally stupid.

Laura Ogelsby is a 48-year-old woman from Missouri who ‘allegedly’ stole her daughter’s identity, took out student loans in order to attend college, and then started to date younger men.

The sex with younger dudes is not criminal. The other stuff is.

The sex with younger dudes, though, makes me wonder about the lack of options for the guys at this college.

Miss Ogelsby looks every bit of 48. She isn’t passing for 35, let alone 25 — or 22 as she was claiming to be. These guys are desperate for a piece if they are being tricked here.

The police, well, they say people were fooled.

“Everybody believed it,” Mountain View Police Department Chief Jamie Perkins told the New York Times (subscription required, not recommended). “She even had boyfriends that believed that she was that age: 22 years old.”

To the tape:

This passes for 22 at Southwest Baptist University.

Southwest Baptist University must have the worst collection of talent of any school in the country.

According to the school, there is no chance this should be happening…

University-wide undergraduate degree-seeking students: Female 65%, Male 35%
University-wide full-time degree-seeking students: Female 61%, Male 39%

How are you on a campus with double girls than guys and getting into bed with that … woman?

Either every girl there is ready for the convent or every dude there is a hobbit. No other explanation.

Anyways, she is facing up to five years behind bars stemming from the arrest after she pleaded guilty to one count of intentionally providing false information to the Social Security Administration.

That does not bode well for getting laid…

The Times lays out the other potential penalties.

“Under the terms of her plea agreement, Ms. Oglesby must also pay $17,521 in restitution to Southwest Baptist University in Missouri and to her daughter Lauren Ashleigh Hays.

In total, Ms. Oglesby received $9,400 in federal student loans, $5,920 in Pell Grants, $337 for books purchased at the university’s bookstore and $1,863 in finance charges.”

As for the guys she scammed… suppose, “Don’t Care, Got Laid” meme is good enough.

Photo by Victoria Heath on Unsplash

Written by Malcolm Henry

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