‘Sex & The City’ Death of Big Crashes Peloton Stock

UKRAINE - 2021/02/21: In this photo illustration the stock market graphic of Peloton Interactive, Inc seen displayed on a smartphone with a logo of Peloton Interactive, Inc in the background. (Photo Illustration by Igor Golovniov/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)

The stock market is, as we all know, the old version of crypto and as such, things like ‘Sex & The City’ scenes have a similar effect to values on stock as Elon Musk tweets do on your CoinBase account.

All of that means, Big — apparently a main character on the show — dying while on his Peloton is bad news.

The scene in question shows Big peddling his ass off before having a heart attack and then kicking the bucket. It dropped stock 11% — which is fvcking insane.

The drop was so severe that the company had to put out an actual statement. Like a serious statement:

“Mr. Big lived what many would call an extravagant lifestyle — including cocktails, cigars and big steaks — and was at serious risk as he had a previous cardiac event in Season 6. These lifestyle choices and perhaps even his family history, which often is a significant factor, were the likely cause of his death,” was their super serious statement.

Big is about to die… on his Peloton.

At first the company tried to deny that it had any idea that the scene was happening… that HBO just magically got a bike and just magically got one of Peloton’s instructors to be part of the scene.

Legit, they were going with … deny, deny, deny…

“HBO procured the Peloton Bike on their own. Peloton was aware that a bike would be used in the episode and that Jess King would be portraying a fictional Peloton instructor,” was the first attempt that failed, prompting the second.

Good for the olds. They get to experience a scare that we all do when we learn that a shithole country like Venezuela is trying to move its currency to BitCoin and it drops the value 27% in an hour.

Written by Malcolm Henry

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