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This Red Squirrel Is Giving Some Crazed Ex Somewhere An Idea

Keyed cars.
DM’ing the new girlfriend.
Changing the passwords on you streaming accounts.
Swapping out your shampoo and conditioner with hair remover.

There are plenty of ways that an ex can mess with your current situation… this squirrel in North Dakota may have added another option to the mix: fill your car with nuts.

It’s actually a pretty poetic revenge tactic since you would have to be nuts to actually do it.

Anyways, the war between one man and a jilted red squirrel has hit a new level when he went on a four-day work trip and came back with a truck full of nuts. For real.

Bill Fischer, as if his name matters, from Fargo — of course it is some place like Fargo — has apparently been battling this squirrel for years as each winter it uses his truck to stash some tasty treats. This year it went to the next level, with over 350 pounds of nuts getting stashed inside the truck, the engine, fvcking everywhere.

Nearly every part of this guys truck has been stuffed with walnuts: the hood and hidden nuts all around the engine, the front bumper, wheel well and parts of the doors!

Guys, there is a girl out there right now reading this and thinking fvck yes, try me.

Fischer said that historically he does not see the squirrel until the walnuts on the tree above his truck begin to ripen… but like… what doesn’t he move his truck? Who knows… there are a lot of questions here that I do not want to get into.

What I do want to do is warn you. This is going to happen to someone. It will not be a red squirrel but a redhead.

“I have to have a sense of humor about this after so many years,” this dude said.

“I put in as much hard work as the squirrel when I have to take my truck apart just to remove bucket after bucket of walnuts!”

What do you think?

Written by Malcolm Henry

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