in ,

Girl’s Wildest College Stories

Here are my top three

Ninja Turtle Halloween

At this Halloween party, four guys came dressed as Ninja Turtles. Later, a girl they did not know showed up dressed as April O’Neill. They proceeded to follow her everywhere, bringing her drinks, and asking her to order her pizzas. Later that night, a guy dressed up as Shredder showed up. They proceed to have an improvised battle in the kitchen that got out of hand quickly. The table, cabinets, and chairs were broken. They left quickly after the damage was done. The people who hosted the party were pissed and confused. They lost their security deposit.

Coke Off Of A Dresser 

I went to this party where a guy invited me into his bedroom to do coke. The coke was on his dresser. Outside of the bag. He wrote my name with his finger in the coke ~romantic~. After, I went to the bathroom. Immediately had my throat close. Had to lay on the floor of this nasty bathroom until I could breathe again. The coke wasn’t bad…. It was the DUST from his dresser mixed with the coke.

Bleached Any Genitalia 

I helped my roommate bleach her asshole because I am a good friend. I had never done that before. She kept telling me to put on more bleach. I should be conservative about it. I went too far. A few days after she yelled at me because she had “Anal Stenosis.” According to Google, “this condition occurs when the muscles in the anus – which expand and contract to regulate the passage of fecal material – narrow.” She couldn’t poop without massive amounts of pain. Since she was bleaching her asshole, she already couldn’t pee without pain. She blamed me. Friendship didn’t last. I was just trying to be a good friend.

Written by Sofía Viagra

To comment, fill out your name and email below.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Dear Media and Police Departments, No One Is Giving Away Their Edibles For Halloween

Tumblr “Humor” Is Making A Comeback