Mailman Dave
I’m starting a new blog series where I dive into the early 2010’s and late 2000’s. I was getting ready to graduate, figuring out which college I would go to, and everything was such a simpler time. Today we are looking at old mobile video games.
These games were the start of every 4 year old asking every adult if they had games on their phones. It didn’t matter who it was it could be a stranger, a cousin, or a 70 year old grandparent who doesn’t know how to do anything with a smart phone. Conall’s blog about old video games had me thinking about old mobile games that dominated from 2008-2012. Whenever I think about old mobile video games the first game I think of is…
Angry Birds
This game blew up so fucking much that it had a movie. I never watched it, but it doesn’t matter how you know something is huge and popular. It was a straightforward game where you just shot birds and either exploded or knocked down pigs. It was an awesome game where you could get lost in it for hours.
Temple Run
Even though I think of Angry Birds first, Temple Run was my favorite game to play. You would get trapped swiping left, right, up, and down. The entire world could be burning down, but you would be locked into Temple Run. This game was even more simple than Angry Birds. You were getting chased, and all you had to do was outrun them through a maze with corners, hollowed trees, fallen branches, and crumbled ruins.
Fruit Ninja
A fruit pops on the screen, and you slice it. It doesn’t get more simple than that. It seemed like a game that should have been released 10 years later as a virtual reality game. I remember the most about Fruit Ninja isn’t the game, but it was the vlogger Lance Stewart slicing his finger open while trying to recreate the game in real life.
Clash Of Clans
Clash of Clans was the first mobile game that introduced pay to win. I don’t think that’s facts, but that’s how I remember it. This was the beginning of 12-year-olds “accidentally.” buying hundred dollars worth of gems to upgrade their village. You could spend hundreds of dollars and instantly have a sick village. This game is much more complicated than the other three I talked about. It had multiplayer, and you could join clans with friends.
Jetpack Joyride
Going back to the simple games, you can’t get much simpler than a man flying around with a jetpack, and you control how high or low he flies. You don’t control his speed, but where he flies. Obstacles fly at you, and it’s up to you to dodge everything. It’s a game where you will get obsessed with for a couple of weeks, but then you don’t play it for a couple of days and then forget all about it.
Candy Crush
Thank god I’ve never played or downloaded this game because the people I know who have downloaded it are addicted like myself to chew. It’s a puzzle game that my dumbass brain couldn’t handle. You throw in colors, and my colorblind ass wants nothing to do with it. I know grown men and women who have spent hundreds of dollars on purpose because they want to clear a level. Think about all of the beer they could’ve bought with that money instead.
Hill Climb Racing
This game made you want to snap your phone like the smelling salts you think will make you study better. This game was simple and not simple at the same time. All you had to do was drive the car, but what made it difficult was controlling the car in the air to get the perfect landing. If you land too far forward, you’ll flip forward, too far back, and you’ll flip backward. I spent way too much time not understanding why the fuck I couldn’t perfectly control the car. Fun, but a very frustrating game.
Those are the seven games that I think of when it comes to early mobile video games. Which games did I miss? How many hours would you estimate that you’ve wasted on these dumb games?
