38 Signs He Really Is A Romantic At Heart

We hear it all the time, and hell, we see it on a daily basis–chivalry, as we were once promised, is dead. After years of watching romantic comedies, we have been dreaming of finding the perfect, charming, devastatingly handsome man with a 401(k), black cards with our name on them, and an unwavering loyalty to us and our 1950s housewife dream. Sadly, that ship might have sailed. Despite what the films have taught us, romance in today’s age doesn’t usually involve hand-writing someone a letter every day for a year or giving up your place on a floating door in the middle of the freezing cold ocean.

The thing is, comparing your relationship to Jack and Rose’s–or expecting him to arrive outside of your apartment in a limo with flowers and declare his love for you–is not only unreasonable, but it’s unhealthy, too.

When it comes down to it, a lot of our boyfriends are really great guys. Sure, some males ARE idiots, but most of them, the good ones, are fantastic men. It’s time we realized that. Chivalry isn’t dead, it’s just evolved. So, ladies, maybe you don’t think he’s romantic because he doesn’t surprise you with flowers all the time, but being a Casanova of our generation is MUCH more than gifts and social media PDA. If he does any of the following, he’s the epitome of what a man should be. My advice? Hold on to him. He’s a keeper.

1. He opens the door for you. Not all the time, and not every door. But every now and again, he goes out of his way to make sure you get to glide through an already open door.
2. He knows your favorite drink. Maybe not all of them, but he knows how you like your coffee or that you just can’t get enough pumpkin beer.
3. He pauses his video game or whatever he is doing to go in the other room and kiss you randomly.
4. He makes you laugh so hard you can’t breathe.
5. He asks you about your day, and he actually cares what your answer is (or at least does a good job pretending).
6. He pays for you. Not all the time. I’m sorry, ladies–you shouldn’t expect that in today’s age. But, if he happily picks up the tab every now and again, he’s a good one.
7. He reassures you when you have irrational fears, including him still liking his ex, if he would be sad if you got attacked by zombies, or that he wouldn’t like you more if you actually understood football.
8. He doesn’t race to hide his phone when he gets a text. He won’t tolerate you snooping, but he makes sure you know that he has nothing to hide.
9. He’ll get out of bed to get you a glass of water.
10. Or, he’ll at least play rock, paper, scissors to decide who will get out of bed to get the glass of water.
11. He doesn’t yell at you or make you feel bad when you accidentally spill the water, food, or your dignity everywhere.
12. He’s impressed with your dance moves.
13. Or, he acts like he’s impressed with your dance moves and will occasionally jump up to do the robot with you, no matter how embarrassing it is.
14. You know how every now and then he’ll pull you close in the kitchen or in the bedroom and slow dance with you? Maybe it’s only for a second, but that is still romance, ladies.
15. He hugs you tightly for as long as you need, and he doesn’t pull away.
16. He gives you a bite of his food.
17. Which is a big deal, because, like, most of the time we don’t give him a bite of our food.
18. He winks at you from across the room and makes your heart pound like crazy.
19. He wipes your tears away after you watch any commercial involving a dog. Or a baby. Or a dog and a baby being friends.
20. When you’re in a bad mood, he kisses you and asks how he can make it better.
21. He lets you pick the radio station in the car, even though is taste in music is slightly different.
22. But FYI, if he doesn’t let you play Taylor Swift in the car, it’s not because he doesn’t love you. It’s because he’s a MAN and will never, ever condone that activity.
23. He opens jars for you, grabs the hot things out of your hands, and reaches for things that are up high.
24. But he’ll make you bend down for the low stuff, because, you know, ass.
25. He tells you you’re pretty when you tried really hard to look pretty.
26. And he tells you you’re pretty when you look like absolute shit and haven’t shaved your legs or washed your hair in at least three days.
27. He makes sure you’re sexually pleased, but understands that sometimes you just aren’t in the mood.
28. After he does something silly, he looks over at you to see if you laughed.
29. He does all of those annoying little quirks, like licking your hand instead of kissing it, ticking you until you almost pee, or picking you up and not putting you down. They make you so irritated in the best way possible.
30. He agrees to go out to dinner with your family or meet the folks, and he tries his best to leave a good impression.
31. If he’s into social media, he #WCWs you or has you in his profile picture.
32. He goes to the farmers’ market with you.
33. He puts his phone down when you’re having a conversation, when you’re at dinner, or when you’re doing an activity together.
34. He has weird nicknames for you, usually involving body parts or functions, and he doesn’t just stick with the usual “babe” or “bae.” #CallMePrettyFace
35. He wears that shirt you got him that wasn’t really his style.
36. He makes sure you’re walking on the inside when you pass by a busy intersection or road.
37. He says “thank you” when you do something nice for him and “I’m sorry” when he’s in the wrong.
38. And, above all, he respects you. He respects you as a person, as a woman, as an individual, as someone with dreams, as his friend, and as someone he loves. When it comes down to it, truly respecting someone on all levels–her wants, needs, hopes, desires, fears, insecurities, faults, friends, family, and the person she is who she’s scared of people seeing–is just about the most romantic thing in the world.