An Apology to All The Female TFM/TSM Followers

Lately, on TFM I’ve seen multiple articles by “Total Sorority Move” or “TSM GIRLS” that have made me vom in my mouth. Articles like “How to Get a Girl to do Anal” and “How to Get a Girl to Show You Her Boobs.” I have gone into the TFM website and deleted them – for obvious reason. These articles are archive articles likely written in 2010. They were written by past TSM writers. Not in excuse. They shouldn’t have been posted. I’m only mentioning this because it gives context.

For the record, TSM is run by Grace O’Malley who did not post these articles. Grace is a sweet angel whose response to those articles was “well, that’s not my forte of writing.” Grace is one of those rare girls who feels emotions, criticism, and fear, but responds to it with humor and presses forward. She’s a boss and doesn’t let things eat at her and that’s why she will be famous one day.

I, on the other hand, am a raging bitch. I let things destroy my spirit and I get pissed off easily.

I don’t know which one of my coworkers posted these stories. I do know it was a male. I also know they didn’t realize how offensive these articles are. All the guys I work with are very kind and wouldn’t do anything to hurt women…. intentionally. I love men and this isn’t meant to come across as anti-men. Just anti-shitty behavior.

Let me tell you why these articles frustrate me. One of the “tips” (no pun intended) to get women to show you their tits or do anal is to, I kid you not, LIE TO THEM. Tell them that “my ex did it”, or that you “don’t think they could pull it off.” Manipulate a girl into doing something they don’t want to do.

Now men, who probably have never felt the pressure of having to do something sexually they don’t want to do, won’t understand why this is a huge problem. This website is geared towards college-age kids. I write a weekly advice column on this website. So this website is known for advising college-age kids.

From the beginning of puberty, girls realize their soul purpose – to be sexual objects who are thrilled to suck dick. That’s not true. But that’s what it feels like. When I was in middle school I got made fun of by guys for having small boobs. I felt like my worth was directly correlated to my bra size. In high school, I only saw my more sexually/physically mature friends get the guy’s attention. While I felt like guys lost interest in me because I was a late bloomer. Everything in the media felt like the only way to get attention was being sexual. Think about it, Lauren Conrad, Paris Hilton, and Kim Kardashian released sex tapes that helped their careers.

I remember thinking I couldn’t get a boyfriend unless I start sucking dick.

The next lie women were told was the blue ball lie. I was told at a young age that if I give a guy blue balls and don’t finish him off, he is going to be in excruciating pain. This is a lie and here is an enlightening Instagram post by Nikki Glaser that explains it better than I can.

When I was 18, I worked at a family-owned restaurant as a server. The cook, a married man in his 50s, who was 5’6” and had a lazy eye, would always touch my stomach when he walked by me in the back of the restaurant. I thought it was weird, but everyone loved this guy and he was best friends with the owner of the restaurant. One night, he walked me to my car at 2 am when the restaurant was closed. This was common for female servers to be walked to their cars. When we got to the car, he told me that his wife and mother of his kids wouldn’t have anal or give him a blow job. It was affecting their relationship greatly. He then pressured me to give him a blow job. In the parking lot. (Throwing up thinking about this.) He said it would help save his marriage and keep his kid’s parents together.

Now, this is an obvious no. This guy looked like middle-aged Dexter from Dexters Laboratory. But imagine if he was hot. Or if he was my boyfriend. Imagine if I thought I was going to lose my job if I said no. Or my dream man was going to break up with me! Lady Gaga was manipulated by her boss to have sex. He used some of the same tactics written in those blogs. Watch Bombshell! Same tactics. If an ugly middle-aged man does it to a hot girl it’s wrong, but if a hot college-age guy does it, it’s okay??? I don’t think so. Manipulating ladies to have sex is great for an orgasm that lasts 10 seconds. But the pain and shame she feels for betraying herself to make a guy happy can stay with her for a lifetime.

I know you’re thinking I’m a psycho bitch. But ask a woman close to you if she’s ever felt pressured to do something she didn’t want to. She most likely was pressured by a nice guy who didn’t understand the damage he was doing. Multiple times in college I said no to guys only for them to continue asking just minutes later. It starts to make you feel like you’re crazy. But you’re not. You can do whatever you want with your body.

All this to say, sorry if any girls saw those posts and were as grossed out as I was. You don’t have to do anal if you don’t want to. But if you want to, go get it, girl.

Written by Caroline Bano

Super boring girl with mediocre personality....but I'm hot. Read my blog. NYC.

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