Bachelorette Recap: Gaydar and Ghoster

And here’s what you missed 

First off, I am new to the bachelor but having the two female hosts is so adorable and feel like they care. In other shows, the host always acts odd and brings weird energy to the room. Almost like they’re about to tell the contestants they have cancer. 

Michelle is gorgeous. She is 28 years old, beautiful, a former D1 basketball player, and a teacher. Her parents are so sweet and model a very affectionate marriage. A montage starts of Michelle yelling about how excited is in tiny jean shorts that solidify she’s hot as shit. 

Tayshia and Kaitlyn decide to check on the guys and look through their rooms. The guys are super good sports about this. Nothing exciting…. Until….. Tayshia finds a folder labeled “bachelorette” in Ryan’s bag. Tayshia and Kaitlyn then transformed into Nancy Drew and read as many of the pages as they could before they probably got bored. They thought it was creepy and they wanted to warn Michelle about it. OF COURSE, they waited until later in the evening for dramatic effect.

The introductions start and the guys all get 30 seconds to wow Michelle. This just proves that men have no idea what girls like. It was hard to watch this part of the show, as I was cringing the entire time. Tayshia and Kaitlyn watch from a bush, which was unnecessary, but adorable. 

A lot of great guys come in. Most memorable intros included  

Rick showed up as a silver platter Michelle had to open
hiBrandon J. showed up in bed. This might have been sexy if the comforter wasn’t flannel.
Clayton brought a ruler for Michelle to spank him with
LT showed up without pants
Joe looked familiar to Michelle but she couldn’t place it. As he walked into the Bachelor mansion, Michelle realized they had dm-ed back and forth before he ghosted her.
Nayte showed up in an ice cream truck. I hope he ABC pays for it.

There was a French man, Romeo, who made my gaydar go off. But like he’s on the bachelorette. So he can’t be gay…. Because why would any gay man want to live in a house with 30 other guys where he only sees one girl a few hours a day?????

The night starts. Michelle pulls Joe. This was the weirdest conversation. Michelle slid into Joe’s dms. They messaged back and forth and hit it off via Instagram. Eventually, Joe stopped responding. It must’ve not been that heartbreaking if Michelle didn’t recognize him immediately when he got out of the limo. The conversation ends with Joe saying he had a lot going on. It seemed they talked in the heat of the Black Lives Matter riots. Joe brought up how he was fearful as a black man and too overwhelmed to start a relationship. Michelle could’ve accepted his apology. This conversation was awesome for the episode – dramatic for the viewers and the bachelorette producers feel like they’ve done their duty fighting racism. However, Michelle makes this the biggest deal of all time. She was talking about trust and “how can she know he would be there for her.” Very dramatic and over the top for casual ghosting. I think the Bachelorette producers probably didn’t feed any of them and they were hangry. That’s the only plausible reason this was a big deal. Michelle also is a dime piece so this is probably one of the only times she’s been denied by a man.

Michelle goes back to the foyer to talk to more of the men when Tayisha and Kaitlyn decide to finally drop the bomb on Michelle about Ryan and the creepy folders. Michelle ignores all of the guys, who are waiting to talk to her, she pulls Ryan, and they head to his room. She asks to read the papers in the folder while he stands outside the room. The papers mentioned “how to not come off as a villain” and “how to get more screen time.” Very suspicious. 

Michelle decides right then and there to send him home. He asks if he can change her mind and she goes “No, you can respect my boundaries….. I am not interested in starting a relationship on a red flag.” I was super impressed by Michelle not wavering on her decision. A girl with boundaries! What is that like? I will say, the folder was creepy. I don’t think he meant to harm. He was probably just homeschooled growing up.

 The one-on-one conversations continue. Nayte talks to Michelle about how he has a hard time opening up and being vulnerable but he wants to work on it. Nayte, when he introduced himself, was visibly nervous. Michelle is super moved and probably happy to be talking to a man that didn’t make her feel like she was on the new season of YOU. She gives him the first impression rose, they make out for three minutes, then she continues to the rest of the men.

Nayte getting the first rose

She runs out of time and has to give all the roses out. The last rose goes to Joe. But before she gives it to him, she dramatically walks away to breathe. She told Ryan she’s not going to “start a relationship on a red flag.” However, Joe is super hot.

Overall there are some cuties this season. I Like Joe(the ghoster), Daniel(firefighter from Austin, TX ), and Clayton (medical sales rep, Columbia, MO). 

Written by Caroline Bano

Super boring girl with mediocre personality....but I'm hot. Read my blog. NYC.

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