Girls Don’t Poop

I stayed at an Airbnb with the TFM group in Nashville. Unfortunately, Grace and I took the room without a bathroom. This, of course, isn’t an issue since girls don’t poop. A woman’s body is incredible. It can perform the miracle of giving birth AND develop nourishment for her children. Women can also drink a venti dirty chai latte and not shit their pants. Honestly, that may be the most impressive all.

Women have taken men’s shit for hundreds of years now. We are so good at taking their shit because we hold on to ours inside, all the time. Any other girls struggling??? I can’t poop in public. Can’t poop when people are around in the other room. Many times I’ve been on trips with guys and my body decides it no longer can deal and I have to be bloated for days. I’m not even remotely a shy person. I have woken up at 4 am just to poop on trips with guys. STILL, my body betrays me once again. My body will straight vomit in front of these men. But poop while they’re 35 feet away?? No way.

The TFM crowd is full of sweet baby angel boys. These douchebags are the perfect combination of good guys and gross nerds. I saw them pass out on our table at a bar in Nashville. One admitted to having his girlfriend snap chat tatted on his ass. I’ve also heard all about their sexual experiences. So WHY, couldn’t I shit in the same building as them? Someone help this girl poop.

Written by Caroline Bano

Super boring girl with mediocre personality....but I'm hot. Read my blog. NYC.


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