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I Hate Dogs And I Honestly Feel Judged

The views expressed in this column do not represent the views expressed by TSM, just by its psychotic author...

I recently went out with a man who was very tall, very successful, and very attractive. We had a great first date, and I was delighted, but not surprised to be asked on a second one soon after. Throughout the week, we engaged in some chit chat here and there, and on one occasion, he told me he’d taken his dogs out to a hiking trail for the day. Along with his text, he sent me a picture of them to show them off.

I carefully avoided comment, so as not to show I welcomed this discussion. I didn’t want to lie or mislead, but I knew it was too soon to be upfront about how I felt. Like most men do, this guy thought this move was something of a method of seduction. And as I learned pretty early on, my dirty little secret was, to most people at the very least, a flaw, and at most, a dealbreaker.

If it isn’t obvious by this point, I am not a dog person. I’d tell you why, but my reasons are irrelevant, and I find that you, the dog person, generally aren’t interested in my opinion on the matter — it only interests you to tell me that I’m wrong, “insane,” and in some dramatic cases “evil,” and “untrustworthy.”

To me, not liking dogs is as much a part of my personality, as say, not liking tomatoes. Tomatoes are everywhere. They come on every sandwich and salad, and if you don’t like them, you’re frequently having to tell servers not to include them in your order, or in some *awful* cases, you have to pick them off yourself. Good friends probably know you don’t like them, but you don’t feel like it defines you, because it doesn’t. That’s not to say you don’t, truly hate tomatoes — you do. You REALLY don’t like them — maybe because you’re allergic, or maybe you hate the smell, or you think tomatoes are dangerous or maybe you don’t need to give a damn reason. You just don’t like them. But your hatred of tomatoes isn’t all that important to you or to anyone else, except when you are directly confronted with a tomato.

“What kind of monster doesn’t like dogs? What’s wrong with you?”

“Haha, I like my dog more than I like you.”

“You’re so weird.”

“You’re undateable.”

Well, ouch.

It’s not that I bring this up every chance I get. Like with that guy who probably won’t go on to be my boyfriend, because he wants to do dog things with me, I try to avoid it until I’m directly asked. Every time I first mention it to someone new, I try to keep it casual. “I’m not really a dog person.” I want to leave it at that. But dog people refuse to allow for it, and after they pester and prod, eventually I’ll give them what they’re looking for, even though I know they don’t want to hear it: I’m afraid, and I’m allergic, but regardless of those two things, I just think they’re gross. They’re big, and loud, and scary, and way too often, dog owners are inconsiderate and allow their dogs to misbehave, feeling no remorse at any inconvenience their pet has caused another person. In fact, they find it endearing.

Hate me yet? I know you do. I can feel your blood boiling, which is not my intention, but it’s absolutely the only impression that will last with 70% of people who read this. Of the other 30%, a few will whole-heartedly disagree but at least understand my side, and the other half — the silent 15-20% — will also not like dogs.

What bothers me more than dogs themselves, I think, is the assumption that I’m supposed to love them — the fact that I’m not allowed not to without being chastised. Dog lovers simply CAN NOT understand that someone doesn’t think the same way they do. The fact that you might POSSIBLY not think their dog is as incredible as they do didn’t even cross their mind until you told them so.

I’m not really sure why this is the way of the world. It’s perfectly acceptable to hate cats, so I’ve never seen cat owners bring their cats anywhere outside their own houses. It’s practically fashionable to hate children. So I see most parents apologize profusely for a child that disrupts a stranger. And no cat owner or parent holds the assumption that their cat or child will be not only welcomed, but beloved, anywhere it goes.

But this weird double standard exists where people who don’t like dogs are made to feel like lepers in society. So together, we lurk in the shadows until we find each other, and let out a “thank God you get it” when we meet another person who shares our views — which is quite often, I might add, but most of us are just smart enough not to be vocal about it, lest we’ll be subject to the uncomfortable conversation we’ve had time and time again.

I’m not trying to change anyone’s opinions about their animals. I understand that I’m in the minority here. I’m aware that places like parks, bars, and even some restaurants are becoming more and more dog friendly, and while I might not like that, it’s just something that I have to accept. They’re a part of our society, and I can’t undo it, and I don’t suppose to try. All I’m saying, is let me fucking live. If your dog jumps on me, consider the fact that I might not like that. Don’t invite it into my house and assume I’m going to be okay with it. Don’t show me pictures and expect me to coo, when you know I don’t care. And please, I beg you, feel at least an iota of shame when it pisses in a place it shouldn’t be pissing, or makes a mess where it shouldn’t have made a mess, or destroys a shoe it shouldn’t have been near to begin with.

Other than that, me and dogs are down to co-exist. I can sit in harmony with a dog, so long as we can keep our interactions to a minimum. It’s just you, the dog owner, that needs to get on board..

Written by TSM

65 Comments

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  1. I cannot abide dogs they leave hairs everywhere they sniff dog mess they bark all the time they bite and
    sometimes injure people they do their business everywhere and they generally smell. I have never seen the attraction at all!!

    • This.
      All of this.
      I am your 20%
      I am sick of being shamed for not wanting to be around a “pet” that mauls 4.5 million people a year.
      I am sick of being shamed bc I find their smell off-putting. I am sick of being shamed bc I find it abhorrent that dog owners just let their dogs piss all over the world, including expensive gardens that they themselves won’t pay to replace (dog pee is highly corrosive)
      They are not people. I have already raised children, I don’t need a dirty forever toddler. And I don’t need your opinion about me- I just need you to obey the leash and scoop laws, and keep your beast under control.

  2. All dogs are disease ridden demons. They shouldn’t exist. Stop breeding them. Their behaviour does not depend on how they were raised or by whom they were raised. No, I was not biten or traumatised by any dog, still, dogs ruin E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

    • Dogs I live close to a park, which I like to walk around, all I see is dog poo everywhere, little bags with dog poo in. I also have seen on numerous occasions dogs rolling in excrement and also eating it …. Nice face licking time.

  3. I absolutely totally agree. I do not like dogs at all! I will never harm an animal but at all. However I do not want a dog as a pet. They shed hair, pee and poop everywhere and in my opinion a serious liability. I just am not fond of dogs or cats whatsoever.

      • Completely agree!!! I have 2 cats and they are independent and we love each other but it’s ok we we aren’t constantly together. They don’t smell, they use a litter box so I don’t have to wake up at 5 to take them out, they don’t try and eat all of my food, I don’t have to walk them, they are in expensive, they are smaller and don’t take up a lot of space, and they are funny as hell and can comfort me while I’m sad without licking my face or jumping on me. Dog owners are so annoying like anytime I post anything about my cats the comments are always like “dogs are better” like did I fucking ask you? They only think dogs are better bc they cannot handle the thought that an animal might not want to be subservient to them 24/7 and only exist to make THEM happy. Like cats are not dogs and are their own species and I’m so tired of dog owners criticizing them but the only bad things they have to say are how they are not like dogs. Glad people agree bc I can’t stand dogs either. The difference is I’m respect about it and mind my business as long as the dog isn’t invading my space or bothering me meanwhile my cats stay in my home and don’t bother anyone but people wanna cat on them for no reason.

  4. In a way this is a form of discrimination agaist us. I don’t think i hate those things, it would be like hating the sun because it burns your skin or hating a saxophone because of the music it makes, its just there but everything it is is my antithesis. Society needs to understand that we won’t go against democracy here but don’t expect me to agree with your pet loving sentiment. And by the way those animals don’t really want to be with you, the minute you open the door they will run away and never come back mostly. So you could say they are being kept against their own will thus animal cruelty if you ask me.

  5. Omg. My people! I wasn’t sure I hated dogs per se until something happened today. My sister has this dachshund puppy(aka cute and can do wrong and if it does wrong it just doesn’t understand). This dog is permanent roomba mode in case there’s a crumb of food to be found. That also means any time you are in the kitchen you are tripping over this rodent or stepping on it(only to have the poor little thing get babied silly for…..being underfoot). Normally I just chase it out and it gets the message. But not today….theres a bathroom just off the kitchen and my sister is in there…..when I go to chase this thing out it runs straight in there and sits and looks at me like “fuck you bitch I don’t have to listen now”….this dog pulled the bratty kid move(you know the one where the kid can do no wrong and when they finally push the wrong button and get their ass whipped, you feel all giddy inside). And this stupid ass dog does this…..TWICE. When it’s not that it’s the damn barking and yelping. Left for an appointment and came back and you’d think someone was bare handed ripping this asshole apart. And of course we gotta pick it up and coddle it and when it continues whining I get….”oh you need to acknowledge her cause she’s looking at you whining.” The dog is whining because you’ve picked her up and pretty much encouraged the behavior you enjoy. And now you expect me to. And I just could do nothing else except say….no I’m not doing it. I just don’t give 2 shots about your dogs. And don’t tell me the asshole doesn’t understand because she’s a puppy but knows exactly who to run to when we don’t wanna listen. We know who coddles and let’s us get away with murder. And one day maybe one of them will figure out why I do my best to never acknowledge the dog. I don’t feed it, I don’t pet it, and in general I wouldn’t care if it wasn’t here. It’s nuisance and chaos added on to nuisance and chaos. So yeah when I finally am in a position to have a say….there will be no dogs. I will not have have hair on my furniture, my house and furniture will not have the “dog” aroma, there will be no hog begging for food or helping themselves to it, there will be no yelping, no jumping, no licking, and no invading personal space while someone thinks it’s cute. I’ve seen enough bullshit dog behavior to last me a lifetime and I’m not interested. Owners have made me dislike dogs. This thing that pulled “insolent child” on me rocketed me to full blown hate. Get your dog away from me, and I highly suggest keeping it away.

  6. Hooray! You guys. I thought it was only me. Thanks for coming out.
    I hate dogs because they are so ugly, smelly and their tongues always hang out! Gross! As if they’re hungry and they eat anything you toss at them.

  7. Thank you so much. I laughed so hard.
    Why? Because it’s all so true… and no one sees it but us. Thank you again.

  8. Thank you for speaking the truth lovely writer of this awesome piece!

    A fellow UK dog disliked here. Fuck them and their stupid brainless owners.

    Big love from across the sea 🙂

  9. Dogs are abomination. They eat their vomit and excrements !!! That says it all. They are gross I hate them.

  10. I thought I was alone! People look at me like I just burned down an orphanage when I tell them I don’t like dogs. People are allowed to like and Diana’s they please, but dog people are a special kind of stupid. Dogs are obnoxious, loud, smelly, they shed, they bark they bite and they’re ugly, fuck dogs.

    • I don’t hate all dogs. Just most dogs. Especially the bully breeds and terriers. And also French bulldogs. Basically if the dog belongs to someone else then I will probably hate it. I do have a border collie and it’s the only dog I like as it’s a trained therapy dog. Doesn’t bark much. Doesn’t get on the furniture as it was taught not to. Doesn’t get in my face or anyone else’s. But fuck other people’s non therapy dogs for sure.

  11. I despise dogs. Wouldn’t hurt one. Wouldn’t even touch it. But I still get horrified gazes or uncomfortable looks if I say it. I love cats but if someone doesn’t like my cat or cats in general that’s okay, so why is it different for dogs??

  12. I hate dogs. I saw a dog attack when I was a little kid and that STILL doesn’t get through to people sometimes. As a guy, a lot of other guys in my circle like to make fun of me for being afraid of dogs, but I feel like that’s a whole other issue entirely. A lot of the time, owners are pretty ok with me not wanting to be around their pets, but sometimes, like with anything, I meet the worst people who want to “change my mind” with their pets no matter what I say and they only reinforce how much I truly dislike dogs. Nothing really against the animals themselves and I wish them happy lives, but I just don’t like them.

    My partner is a huge dog person. HUGE. She loves dogs more than she loves life itself and cannot live without one. I love her more than the anything, so we compromised and have a small dog (a Maltese) instead of a big one and he’s pretty ok most of the time. It’s not ideal for me, but she hates cats more than anything and we’re also going to be getting a cat as part of our bargain. Just gotta talk things out I guess!

    Dogs are still disgusting though. Completely agree that there’s some real asshole owners out there that get so offended when I get scared around their pets.

  13. These disgusting creatures genuinely make me want to kill myself with their barking. Its so loud and jarring, and its everywhere. I cannot go one day of my life without hearing barking or whining. It causes me so much stress that I just want to escape it.

  14. I hate dogs and my hatred only increases with the passage of time. But even stronger, perhaps, than my hatred for these miserable, filthy, violent beasts is my unquenchable curiosity about why so many people DON’T hate them. I find nothing about them even tolerable, let alone acceptable or attractive.

  15. Dogs industry, these dog nutters have been brainwashing us since the young age with their bullshits ads, movies and even they came up to schools with their ugly stinking slobbering ass killing machine. If you happened to interact with one of these sub-human lunatics, you’ll get the gist of how the state of most human nowdays, lack of empathy to other beings other than dog and idiot beyond comprehension. Now billions of them roaming this earth do absolutely nothing good but destruction to earth and its living beings.

  16. Dogs should not be pets, they act more like wild animals than pets. They’re all ugly abominations and so are the owners.

    • yeah, the reason i hate them is cuz they smell horrible, shit and piss everywhere, bark too loud, and their owners love them way too much. i understand if you like your dog but dont let them get away with biting a guy and then acting like the dog is the victim. or not cleaning up after their poop on lawns. To be honest, I fear how Americans love dogs more than babies but oh well, a generation can be hard to fix.

  17. They are dirty, smelly, disruptive, I could never have one in my house. I also can’t stand when people let their beast run up on me and rub their filthy noses, tounges, fur all over me. Someone once let their dog jump up on me after it had been playing in the creek and was soaking wet. Then there is just the expense and disruption in your life if you have to take care of one of these things. They belong in rural areas, not cities. All these twentysomethings in my apartment have these dogs. It seems they don’t get it that the whole dog ownership thing…is supposed to wait for home ownership. Not when your a tenant and have other neighbors who don’t want to be encountering your barking dog all the time on the premesis.

  18. There’s nothing attractive about dogs. Never mind that one attacked me and a little girl I consider my baby sister. The panic attack inducing barking. The whining and growling. The smell. The slobber. The panting and licking. The germs in general. People think all cats do is scratch and bite, and they refuse to give them a chance, but when you say you’d rather not get licked by a stranger’s mutt, you are cast out immediately.

  19. For me, what was a mild dislike for dogs has turned into hatred for them and their owners over the last few years, after being subjected to non stop barking noise pollution at all hours of the day. It has affected my quality of life, where I can no longer go outdoors and enjoy my private space without being invaded by the sound of dogs barking for nothing and everything. Their owners refuse to train them and the police / animal welfare are slow footed and do nothing. This is a common experience it seems.
    Dog owners are immune to truth and facts, for example that their “fur baby” eats its own faeces, other animals faeces, vomit, diapers and condoms. A study done at Exeter University recently confirmed how dumb these animals really are, relative to other animals.
    These evolutionary mutants don’t deserve to be in society, if left to the wild, their incessant stupid barking would cause easy predation – is there any other animal that constantly howls for no reason ?.
    Dog people think their dogs “love’ them – when in fact Fido is just expressing excitement in anticipation of another opportunistic free meal. You are the gravy train, the food source, thats it – plain and simple, its not love. They think their dog is happy when it wags its tail – fact – dogs wag their tail to spread the scent of their anal glands and does so even under duress.
    There are documented examples where dogs eat the faces of their owners when they die, in spite of dog food being readily available. It is a despicable species of animal, that is loud, needy, dumb and dirty and which doesn’t belong in civilised society. All the shit, slobber and parasites they carry has infected the brains of dog lovers, where they can’t think properly anymore. The psychosis they demonstrate is virtually identical to that of members of a cult, where reason and logic go to die.

  20. Also most of the comments are BS. My grandfather’s dog defended him day’s after he died. A dog will give it’s life for you. And that is documented. There is a good reason 98 percent of people have a favorable opinion of dogs.

    • Is it because 98% of people (I’ll assume you have proof of that number) are so deeply insecure they need the reassurance of a barking shitbeast’s supposed unconditional love for them? Or so utterly devoid of empathy they think a sentient (if odorous and noisy) creature is a fun toy, a cute accessorie?

    • All depends on training not all dogs are dumb. Dogs can be loud if the owner lets them be. A dog being loud is more the owners fault than the dog. You have a right to not like them but saying all dogs are dumb is not logical. Dogs can smell cancer, bombs, drugs and are therapy animals. are used for protection and farming as well has search and rescue operations. A dog that’s dumb is from lack of training or breed. Some dogs are just naturally not smart. Breed and breeding has a lot to do with it. Nobody should own a dog that isn’t willing to put the time in to train it. To anybody who is going to hate bomb me for this comment. I’m not saying you have to love dogs. You can outright hate them. People who hate dogs and people who love them can co exist. Wejust have to have a mutual respect for each other’s opinions. People have every right not to like dogs but respect others that do like them.

  21. I don’t like dogs myself. I’m totally blind and all they do is run up on me like butter wouldn’t melt. I do not judge anyone who may have them, I myself just don’t care for them at all, especially the terrible smell and the slobbering. Plus I have to act a certain way as if I care for the damn things just so I don’t have something said to me about it. Really folks, get it already it’s a fucking act. I’d rather have a cat any day than deal with a damn dog. Fact is, my family has them, and I could care less about that damn pitbull, or all three of those other ones. Somebody around there would tell me what the dogs did or something else about them. I don’t fucking care man leave me alone about it and enjoy your stupid animal far away from me.

    • Interesting. Someone doesn’t adore an abominated ubiquitous blight on the senses, and a dog fetishist leaps in with the personal insults.

      I’d call it a cult, but aside from that being very close to a typo this dog obsession is far too everywhere for that. It’s more like a religion, complete with shitty behaviour toward unbelievers.

  22. I don’t like dogs either and have received so much hatred for saying so. This hatred foes from the usual “you’re a bad person” and “dogs are better than you” cliches. I’ve even been told I should go kill myself, or that hopefully I get attacked or killed by a pitbull too am beyond disgusting and hope my life is full of misery. This is why I went from simply not being a dog person to full blown hatred of the things, because their owners are so downright hateful themselves toward me for my opinion! I like all other animals, I just don’t care for dogs and never thought it was such a big deal but these people actually wishing death to me for this is uncalled for.

  23. I hate Dogs so much each day , i liked them when i was a kid now
    It gets worse i find more reasons to.
    They stink epecially when wet,
    They lick and have wet noses,
    Bark loud and annoying ,
    They beg for food ,
    They break EVERY thing!
    Lick each others behind plus theirs yet ppl kiss them on the mouth and its stinks !
    Pee /poo on my plants n things
    I have a chichuawua wich million times worse hes such an attention hog .he thinks he so important and bitten my son many times now 4 attetion .
    They attack other animals and ppl . I dont care this point .
    Different dogs have hump my foot ,
    Their so discusting .
    They over hyped always in face even tail wagging its dumb .
    Birds come and eat his food he wont even do nothing . Waste of money .
    I just wait 4 his death my family loves him except me but never ever again .
    NEVER .

  24. I don’t blame u for hating dogs . I hate them too . Dogs disgust me specifically their cliche habit of licking everything that moves , and jumping for no freaking reason . Or wanting to have attention 24/7 .
    My cousin had a dog and i felt so happy when it died bcz it bothered me so much , scratched me multiple times while jumping on me . I m not sorry at all for being happy that it died period .

  25. I don’t like dogs either or pretty much anything about them. Glad to know I’m not alone cause I feel like something’s wrong with me. I wouldn’t wish any harm on them though, they’re still living beings with feelings and I want them to be loved, just not by me. Also comparing an animal to a tomato is a little crazy but hilarious 😂😂

  26. i also agree dogs can do anything and they will still be loved for what they are gross they smell they are ugly i genuinely find no place in my life for a dog except the fact at my house there are three but i can’t get a cat bc the mother of the house “doesn’t like cats” how can you stand three pomeranians and hate cats??? dogs are so annoying they don’t shut up i wish their vocal cords could just be taken out

  27. I am about to leave my boyfriend because of the dog he now has with him all the time (belonged to his father who died)
    My boyfriend takes the dog to my house when he comes over and the dog on arrival starts chasing after my cats who then are gone for days… in the car the dog is all over the place but i should not hold her down. The dog pisses on the wooden floor in the house at night and this is what my life should be now? well sorry but… no… fuck dogs

  28. I always say to my wife that if our kid grow older, we will have a pet, and that will be a cat. cats are lots more intelligent that these stupid idiota’s called dogs. Sure they are lovable at some extent, they do have the capacity to save lives at some point, but that really doesnt change the fact that if they are let alone in the wild, they will def cause mayhem in the sorroundings. unlike other pets that will automatically acclimate in the ecosystems such as most cats eating smaller pests, dogs however will just shit, poop, damage and mess trash cans and bags and will bear ticks and bugs.

    Solid dog owners are obnoxious people.

    One thing really got my nerve is when i see a baby stroller and instead of a baby human, it contains a fuckin dog. a Dog in a stroller? what kind o freakish mind would ever do that, aside from people with deep seated ignorance on the world norms.

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