Malcolm Henry
As one my favorite follows on Twitter — as well as teammate on TotalSororityMove — Alyssa Schoener can tell some incredible stories in very few characters.
As one of my favorite reality TV stars, Kristin Cavallari, also keeps me entertained with her relationship exploits.
Both (clearly) have bad taste in men. Alyssa explored that here. Kristin was a little more public with her decision… marrying Jay Cutler and then doing a reality show with him.
Cutler is one of the most irritating people going, and I honestly do not know why people think he is entertaining. He was a strong arm quarterback, with the personality of a rubber mallet, and his biggest claim to fame (aside from somehow landing Cavallari) is the endless supply of Smokin’ Jay Cutler memes.
Now, come to find out, that Cavallari had a moment or three or four of weakness while going through her divorce from Cutler.
“Jay and I actually went on a couple dates, like, months and months and months ago,” she explained on the Off the Vine podcast. “But we did.”
I can not imagine what a couple of dates with Jay Cutler would be like… after being divorced from him. I imagine it would be like trying to talk with my roommate after he hit one too many gravity bongs. Just slow, slurred, nonsense… leaving me endlessly frustrated and just wanting to tell him to leave so I can play Madden.
Cavallari also said that she and Jay got divorced not because they didn’t love each other, but because the relationship simply was not a healthy one.
“I just decided I didn’t want to be in a toxic relationship anymore and I had to break it off,” Cavallari added. “But that’s made it hard and made me sit here and question it for a few months. But then going back and dating him a little bit made me reaffirm, like, ‘No, I know that I’m doing the right decision.’”
Honestly, this is sounding more and more like Alyssa’s origin story about how a toxic man created a monster altered the course of her life.
Cavallari summed up the current situation in a way that really tells me more about the shitbag, Jay Cutler: “This is what I said to my friends,” she said. “I’m like, ‘If I didn’t have kids with Jay, I would never talk to him ever again. But now, I have to talk to him a lot.’”
As someone that never has to talk to Jay Cutler, I feel all the better for it because I wouldn’t want to.
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