Majors I Don’t Trust

Okay, this might be the article that gets me cancelled. But to be honest, this has been bothering me for so long that I have to get it off my chest.

Before you tell me how idiotic I am for giving my opinions on things I know nothing about, 1) you’re right, because no one asked for this, and 2) literally nothing I say means anything. You know why? I chose my major after watching a Buzzfeed video (I know, I was in a dark place) called “Shit College Students Say”. The running joke was that everyone switches to majoring in communications because it’s the easiest. Guess what I chose? Communications. Because it was the easiest. 

1. Accounting

Coming into college, the possibilities are endless. Choosing your major is like choosing your path. You can study anything, you can be anything. That’s why if you chose accounting as your major, I don’t trust you.

Out of every single major there is, why would you choose to sit behind a desk and look at numbers all day? Okay, maybe that’s not the only thing accounting majors do, but I’m pretty sure it is. Math isn’t fun. You know what’s fun? Literally anything else. So yes, I’m judging you.

2. Nursing

Self explanatory. I think we can all agree that nursing majors give off a creepy vibe. First of all, the stories I’ve heard from my friends are disgusting. (AKA, having to clean old people’s bodies). Also, have you noticed the girls that choose nursing as their majors are usually the evil ones in elementary school? There has to be some correlation.

I might be biased on this one because I literally pass out when I see blood, but no, I’m pretty sure it’s the nursing majors that are weird. Like, why are you so obsessed with putting needles into people’s bodies? There has to be something twisted going on psychologically. Try therapy!

3. Engineering

Engineering is one of the majors I hate only because I don’t fully understand it. Has anyone ever even asked them what they do? Like, are they actually making engines? And if they’re not making engines, what are they doing? Why is it called that?

One time I tried asking an engineering major what they did every day at work and, spoiler alert, I just ended up more confused than I was before. To be honest, it’s rude. Just switch!

4. Teaching

I like teachers, but I’m pretty sure they just chose this major because they couldn’t think of anything else. Which is fine. Same. But why would someone actively choose to spend all day with little kids? That blows my mind. Even worse, high schoolers. Somehow even worse, middle schoolers. To be honest, I just think you guys need a raise.

5. Finance

I’m not necessarily judging you if you choose finance as your major, I just think you’re probably hot, which means you can’t be trusted in general. Wolf of Wall Street secretly turns you on, you’ve had a “Saturdays are for the Boys” flag on your wall at one point in your life, and the last picture on your Insta feed is you on a golf course with your brothers. I love to pretend to hate you, but deep down, we all know you’re my demographic. Excel! Am I right?!

Written by Becca Moore

Becca Moore graduated from Ohio University in May but will probably be stuck in college for the rest of her life. She has the bad habit of using Tik Tok to publicly rate every guy she’s ever met and loves helping girls expose their shady boyfriends. Her favorite hobby is trying to bring up Greek life in any and every conversation she can.

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