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We are all familiar with the terrors of fraternity hazing. Today, let me open your eyes to the rath of sorority sisters.
Now, most sorority hazing is very cute and wholesome. Most pledges get “love bombed” and are smothered with attention from upperclassmen. At the most, you might have to wear certain things to class or a party, like Regina when she hazed Katy in Mean Girls. Some sororities have their pledges get up in the middle of the night and bake cookies for the president. Wholesome. Not at my school. The sororities were ruthless…
There had been a rumor about brutal hazing with one of the sororities on campus. The story was about “Blow or Blow” night. The pledges were woken up in the middle of the night (original). They then had the choice, do a line of coke, or give one of the frat brothers a blow job. Insane. I know. I’d never. I’d rather die of Fentanyl than touch Stephen with the serial killer eyes. My momma didn’t raise no bitch. This is something out of Animal House. Turns out, the Sorority sisters were pranking the pledges… allegedly. They were always planning on telling them it was a joke. They just wanted to wait to make them sweat.
Knowing this rumor, I felt safe. If hazing has been a problem on campus, the university keeps a close eye on the chapter. I go through recruitment and pledge the hot girl sorority because I know what’s important in life – looks and popularity. The rules for pledging were that you couldn’t be seen with any fraternity boys for eight weeks. Outside, of course, classes or group projects. Now, that was never going to happen.
Some rat, not very attractive, bitter pledge, told my sisters I was with a guy at a Chili’s (my favorite romantic date spot) pounding Presidente Margs. My fake literally was plastic with a sticker on top of it. It didn’t scan and you could peel off the information on the top. I miss those days.
The next day at our sorority meeting, I was singled out and they tried to humiliate me. It’s impossible to humiliate me at this point, so I didn’t mind. I was told to stand outside the fraternity house of the boy I was with, and sing. My sisters would be there in attendance. My sisters would also throw literal fruit at me while I sing. Who is our mother?? These are evil sisters.
We had to wear white dresses to meetings. I’m a broke college student, who spent fifty bucks at Francesca’s, to buy this dumb-ass midwestern-looking white dress to fit in. I show up at the frat house, clear my throat, and before I begin my concert, I take off my dress because I will NOT get stains on that dress. I immediately have a response from my audience. Thank GOD I wore cute undies that day!!!!
Half of my sisters are laughing and loved that I was in my undies, while the other half was disgusted. The fraternity brothers loved it (obviously). This was prime time for me to be in my underwear because I hadn’t gained the freshman fifteen, or in my case twenty-five, yet. I looked like Kate Moss after doing coke and smoking cigarettes for dinner.
I start to sing, and little did they know, I did all-state choir. I am the Adele of my sorority. The songbird of my generation. I sang Love Yourself by Justin Bieber and added a lot of crowd work. They loved it. They clapped along. They were my bitch.
Basically, I beat hazing by not letting these girls belittle me. People can only make you feel embarrassed if you give them the power.
