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Why Am I So Annoying On The Internet?

Whoever said self love was enough, clearly didn’t have followers on the internet. 

Every morning I wake up and make the conscious decision to be annoying on the internet, and for some reason, people love it. 

I can remember my first viral moment like it was yesterday and it really is quite the inspiring story. I was watching The Bachelor and Hannah Brown claimed she had only kissed 4 boys in her lifetime. That couldn’t be right. I knew in my gut, as a fellow (at the time) sorority girl at the University of Alabama, that an absolute rite of passage was kissing more than four boys in one night at a “swap” during your freshman year. So I tweeted about it. 15k likes and I was addicted. 

People said I was funny, people said I was dumb, people said I was a whore, people called me a bitch, but most importantly, people called me pretty. 

Now I know what you’re going to say, “you’re so insecure, you need internet validation to feel good about yourself,” and to that I say, I already knew I was pretty, but as much as I love being called pretty, I also love being told I’m right. So when people called me pretty, they were technically also telling me that I’m right about my own opinion of myself. Am I annoying you yet? Probably! But this is what I’m great at (besides being pretty and always right) so why not do it to the best of my ability?

After the Hannah Brown debacle and a strongly worded DM from one of her friends (embarrassing for them, exhilarating for me), I realized that I loved every aspect of having strangers not only hate me, but love me as well. I kept tweeting and in less than a year gained 100,000 Twitter followers. But honestly, that just wasn’t enough. So I decided to be annoying on TikTok too. It’s not my best work, but it does the trick… for now. 

I don’t even know how to describe my internet presence but I think my followers would say it’s like watching a dumpster fire from a distance, except I’m pretty and always right. Don’t forget that last part. 

I think you guys kinda get the point now, so I’ll just leave you with this: self love is GREAT, I have a lot of it (clearly), but people on the internet loving you for being annoying is also GREAT and anyone who says it isn’t is just jealous. 

P.S. I don’t know why they would be jealous, that’s just what I say when people disagree with me. 

What do you think?

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Written by Alyssa Schoener

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