Hi! I’m Becca. Don’t worry, I know what you’re thinking. “Great, another little blonde girl with an Instagram account who says things I don’t care about.” But I’m so much more than that. I have a TikTok, too! If anything, I’m doing you a favor, I’m just giving you more material to hate-consume. Trust me, I’m ~not like all the other~ Tik-Tokers, I don’t do little dances that make you wonder why the app exists in the first place. (No offense to you, my dancing queens. I think I’m just mad I still haven’t perfected the renegade).
Believe me, when TikTok first became huge, (which, in my world, was at the beginning of quarantine), I was one of those angry viewers who swore she only had the app downloaded to make fun of it. “What’s the point?! How did this video of a hot girl just MOUTHING the words to Old Town Road get 1.5 MILLION VIEWS?!!”
One of my favorite hobbies was seeing how mad I could get the more I scrolled. The thing about TikTok, though, is that it’s smarter than you. It figures out your entire life story in order to trick you into wasting hours scrolling while you swear you’re only going to watch one more. It makes you think you’re just hate-watching, you totally aren’t enjoying any of it, but when you were definitely NOT having fun, surprise! It slipped in something that you really did like. Maybe even… laughed at.
For me, it’s drunk college-aged girls making fun of their lives. That’s my exact demographic. How did it know?! Which is when I started thinking: I’m drunk a lot, I have a life, I like to make fun of it. Should I … make a video?
Then one day I had an idea: what if I made a video rating my date party dates? That’s when I caved. I had to make this into a video series. The idea sounds a little harsh, I know, but I decided to be nice. For the most part. I should’ve known it would immediately get sent to everyone I went to school with, though, because each of my dates saw it within 20 minutes of me posting. I’ve gotten a few different reactions from my former dates, (“Why am I being cyberbullied by 5,000 13 year olds for wearing an American Eagle shirt to a date party?! I thought it looked good!”), while others realized where they had gone wrong, (“I guess I DID try to sell a pair of her earrings on Twitter after she didn’t text me back. Was that… kind of mean?”) but most were just confused by my scale. I would be, too. But that’s a question for another day.
The best part was when other girls started making their own videos rating their date party dates. This is when I knew: #1), I was probably banned from at least 5 different frats, and #2), most importantly, I was addicted. In other words, TikTok gives me the feeling people probably feel when they do crack. Not that I would know. Obviously. The point is, I just started making videos a couple months ago, and now I can’t stop rating everything in my life. From pictures my sorority made me delete to jobs I’ve almost been fired from, nothing is off-limits for me.
I can’t help it. I’ve found my passion: burning bridges in my personal life for views. So trust me, I will be telling you every last detail, whether it’s my many stories of trying to break every rule I possibly could while living in a sorority house for two years, or taking you into my inbox so we can rate the hottest DM’s I’ve gotten from 70 year-old men together. At the end of the day, I’m convinced the guy who asked me if I’d ever been into cannibalism (like, sexually), had to know deep down he was just giving me content I could use one day. That’s showbiz, babe. 12/10.
