A recent scientific study that I am making up as I write this sentence shows that the college male will spend at minimum four hours wasting his time during an academic school day. These wastes of time range among individuals, but according to the findings that I am making up, these are the biggest and best ways college kids waste time:
1. TikTok
As much as I wish I could say I’m not addicted to TikTok, I watch it every single day for more time than I’d care to admit. And, in my personal opinion, I am significantly less addicted to it than most people I know. This tops the list for pretty much everyone.
2. YouTube
This is the real time killer for me. I watch anything from stand-up compilations, WatchMojo, Looper, GoodGood, conspiracy videos – really anything that seems even remotely interesting. You all do the same thing. Don’t deny it.
3. Netflix/Hulu
This can really go on to include any streaming service at all, but these are just the main two. South Park is on HBOMax, Family Guy is on Hulu, Seinfeld just got put on Netflix, and there’s so many more to binge while you should be doing something productive.
4. Video Games
On average, I’d say my roommates and I play an average of ninety minutes of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate per day (a game I once thought was for virgins but have since discovered is unbelievably fun). Sometimes it’s Madden, 2K, FIFA, even COD, but video games will always be a great way to waste time as a group.
5. Sleeping
I got back from my 9am class today and slept until 1:30pm. Need I say more?
6. Eating
Any time I really don’t know what to do, I find something to eat. What should take me five or ten minutes usually turns into at least a half hour because I tend to mix in some of these other time wasters while I consume my meals, but the point is that the act is eating – and it kills a fuck ton of time.
7. Jerking Off
Before any guy thinks about doing anything productive, this is just something that has to get done. It usually doesn’t waste long amounts of time(in fact, I considered not even deeming it a waste of time at all), but it happens every day and pushes off work from getting done.
8. Fantasy Football Waiver Wire
While attempting to write this blog I spent twenty-five minutes looking at the waiver wire across a few different leagues. I think I made one claim two minutes in and spent the rest of the time analyzing upsides of players that will never even come close to making my squads.
9. Aimless Wandering
This is what happens when you attempt to do a simple task, such as switching your laundry from the washer to the dryer, and end up walking around your house talking about nothing and going from room to room with no goal in mind. After my waiver wire escapades, this was the next step in procrastination for the day.
10. Pooping
The waste of time I’ll be using after publishing this blog. It’s not exactly a waste of time in the literal sense, but when you throw in any of the above wastes of time (with exception to aimless wandering, sleeping, eating and hopefully jerking off – I’m not here to judge, though) it can turn into quite a long ordeal – particularly if you make multiple trips to the throne a day like I do.
