Mark Davis’ Girlfriend is Way Too Hot

The king of bowl cuts had quite the night. Mark Davis watched the Raiders beat the Packers at home on Monday night. Before the game, he was playing what appeared to be penny slots inside the Vegas airport. The entire time, he had a beautiful, younger woman on his arm. 

I don’t know why, but I find it totally acceptable for someone to fake a friendship, or maybe even a relationship for sports tickets. It’s why Bradley Cooper pretends to be friends with the Eagles’ owner. That being said, Mark Davis looks like a raisin picked up off the floor of a nursing home barber shop. There is too much of a physical disparity for her to be doing it just for tickets. She must want the entire Raiders organization. 

When I first saw the two of them together, I instantly wanted to warn Davis. I figured the dude must be getting played. Then I realized that he is probably well aware. No person who actually cares about the success of their business, or football team is paying Jimmy Garoppolo to start for their football team. He’s a handsome face to get women in the stadium, because at the end of the day, the Raiders are just an expensive dating app for Mark Davis. 

This has simply confirmed for me that I need to be rich by the time I’m old. Young and poor, isn’t ideal, but it can get you by in a pinch. That being said, Mark Davis is proving the undeniable value of old and rich.