UNC Student Sends Terrible Campus Wide Email

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So, you’re a college kid who has just created a startup company and you want to get its name out there. You get access to your college’s email database and create a little advertisement for the business. Something quirky. Hell, you can even be super silly if you want to! Anything that positively reflects your business idea while, at the same time, not aggravating the reader. Your target market isn’t expecting to open up an advertisement on their school email, so it better be good. Okay, let’s see what you got:

INFORMATIONAL MESSAGE FROM ALERT CAROLINA

Ha, that’s pretty funny. Mocking the obnoxiously computer generated informational messages from the college. Gutsy. Even formatting it like the school would. I like it. I can tell you’re a funny guy. I’m excited to read more.

Chapel Hill police are investigating a report of innovation which occurred around 10:01 am Monday October 14 in the general area of Franklin St. and N. Columbia St.

This is some edgy guerilla marketing. So far so good. The reader, like me, is probably hooked. Innovation? This past Monday? On Franklin Street? The busiest street in Chapel Hill? I’m familiar with all of these things. You have my full attention, let’s get to the point.

At precisely 10:01 am yesterday, in broad daylight, shots were fired on Franklin Street. The victim is being described as a blue, outdated social network.

Wait, what? Shots were fired? There was a campus shooting? How is that innovation? Is everybody okay? This sounds very serious. Like, national news serious. Why is the victim described as the Facebook website. Is there a Facebook office on Franklin Street? Are we on lockdown?

The current suspect is Bevii, a mobile location based social network only available to select Universities. Bevii, apparently, makes and values your relationships automatically based on who you spend time around. For more information, click here: bevii.com.
Reportedly, over 500 students have been affected.
Sponsored by the Social Media Police Of Chapel Hill

You’re an idiot. I was actually worried that people were getting killed on Franklin Street. Also, your business murdered Facebook? You are marketing your company as a shooter who is gunning down social networks on campus? Did you run this idea by anyone? Have you ever taken a marketing class?

This is a real email that was sent to UNC students this past week. It’s a terrible idea and has only received negative feedback. The only thing worse than a college kid who is creating a startup is a college kid who is creating a startup and has the audacity to email the entire student body about it. The concept behind bevii.com is about eight years late and probably sucks, but the fact that the creator wrote an email pretending to be the university’s alert system should be telling enough itself. It sparked outrage across the UNC campus and, as of today, www.bevii.com is blocked on university servers. The full email is below:

[via Valleywag]

Image via Valleywag

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  1. 36
    Its a TFM

    Facebook’s share price is up 4% today. Maybe this guy’s hit men accidentally went to Friendster’s house by mistake.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago
  2. 29
    OMFratRebel

    I’m starting to severely question Dorn and Bacon’s ability to haze. Fail Friday still is never posted before noon. I think they’ve gone soft. Like liberal soft.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago
  3. 7
    SAMDMA

    consistently go to parties with more people than that douche’s social network. All 1.1 billion facebook users better watch out.

    ^ ThisTake a lapReply • 1 year ago