It’s opening day for the MLB. This is an exciting time of year for sports fans all over the country except for Oakland. Brad Pitt is the best thing to happen to that franchise since 2010. But for everyone else, there is so much to look forward to. Everyone hates the Astros but they still have the best roster, the Yankees still have a payroll big enough to buy a majority stake in a fortune 500 company, and the Angels still suck despite having the two best players in the sport. So basically, not much has changed since the MLB last ended in October. So stop looking at Albert Pujol’s baseball reference page, and get ready for the best parts of America’s past time returning.
Number 1: Baseball Beers
Drinking in the afternoon is always awesome, no matter what. But when your roommate walks in and you’re watching Tavon Austin’s college highlights at 2 pm with a Bud Light in your hand you find yourself on the receiving end of some judgement. But when the exact same situation happens and it’s an afternoon baseball game no one bats an eye. A baseball game not only makes your alcoholism socially acceptable, but it gives you something to do for three hours while you sit around and get blasted.
Number 2: Baseball Betting
Like drinking in the afternoon, sports betting is always fun. But betting the MLB is better than any other major sport there is. That might be a hot take, but the bets for a baseball game are incredible. The feeling you get when a player you bet to hit a home run comes up to the plate is on par with attempting to take off your first bra. It’s like an anytime touchdown bet with higher odds. Add in the fact that there’s like 10 games every day, and you can do a no run first inning on all of them, and it becomes to sports betting what Joe Rogan is for ripped white dudes.
Number 3: Talking Baseball
Now talking sports is fine, but talking about baseball serves an essential purpose for the purpose of a lot of young sports fans like myself. Talking about baseball to an old person is always a guaranteed way of not having to tell that person you don’t know what to do in your life. When your uncle who you see twice a year approaches you at your mom’s birthday to tell you about the value of having an internship, you can easily pivot by saying, “how about them Phillies?” Every old head in the world has something to say about baseball, whether it’s about how the game isn’t what it used to be, or how their grandson hit a home run in their tee ball game, or some bullshit like that. Whether you like baseball or not, learn a fact or two about the game, it’s a conversational cheat code.
Number 4: Youth Baseball
This begins a few weeks after the start of the MLB, but it’s a personal favorite part of baseball season for me. One great thing I love to do in baseball season is hang out at youth baseball complexes and enjoy some amateurs play the game. Maybe I’m a baseball purist but it can be a lot of fun. Throw in the fact that the snack stands have cheap food, you can bring your own alcohol to the games, and there are older sisters and single moms in the stands who you can easily approach and say, “which one’s yours?” The key here is to make sure you don’t do this too often otherwise they learn your style and they tell you “Stop coming around here you creep.” As hurtful as those words can be, it’s good fun while it lasts.
