Y’all, in going over this whole month there was a lot of the use of the word “fratio” for patio; a lot of stuff dad was doing for “us;” we were still flexing with the iPhone 4; clothes were REALLY important; a little less icing one another in the TFMs: BrosIcingBros.com had shut down by this time (RIP in prank, bro). Although the photo section upped their Ice game. Florida getting shade was a bit of a trend, some of which you’ll see below.
Also, this is all just for fun. I’m not knocking #ClassicTFM. If anything this is my way of sneaking some classic fun into the game and to start a conversation. So don’t get your 6in. in-seam shorts in a bunch if you’re from the old school and maybe check out some actually cool stuff from the “good ‘ole days” if your from the new school. There is still plenty of stuff there.
Old folks: comment below what they should check out.
New kids on the block: let them know what you’ve discovered. Let ME know what you’d like to hear or learn about the past.
“We want to hear you shut the fuck up.” Ok, besides that.
https://archive.totalfratstg.wpengine.com/ua/
Me > you. TFM.
(Math = FAF. See it kinda rhymes? And he used the math symbol too. Shouldn’t it be “I” though?)
https://archive.totalfratstg.wpengine.com/alabama-27/
When I grow up I will haze my kids like pledges and treat my wife like the sorostitute she used to be. TFM
(That’s what’s really wrong with kids these days: not enough pledglings.)
https://archive.totalfratstg.wpengine.com/lsu-54/
I hooked up with my sister’s big sis last night. Sorority big sis…I don’t go to bama.
(Who would say “my sister’s big sis” to refer to their own oldest sister? Really reaching for that joke there, champ. Also you forgot the TFM. Just sloppy.)
https://archive.totalfratstg.wpengine.com/lsu-10/
I’m on a first name basis with the Kappa Kappa Gamma and Tri Delt house moms. Entitles me to free breakfast after a slam session. TFM.
(“Oh good morning! Nice to see you again, you must have been having sex with one of the girls last night. Who was it this time? Oh, I bet a gentleman like you doesn’t kiss and tell teeheehee! Can I make you some free breakfast which you are entitled to, since we are on a first name basis?”)
https://archive.totalfratstg.wpengine.com/auburn-9/
A “bro” tried to ice me last night. I took a swig of my Glen single malt, slapped it out of his hand and walked away. The only “ice” a “bro” should concern himself with is the kind that clinks in his scotch glass. TFM.
(So first of all this didn’t happen; someone you DIDN’T know tried to Ice you? Or did you act this shitty towards someone who thinks they are close enough to you to Ice you? Being rowdy is a TFM but so is being eye-rollingly fancy? And Icing both is AND isn’t a TFM? You’re trying to have it both ways, July 2010. We couldn’t try ANY harder. )
https://archive.totalfratstg.wpengine.com/georgia-tech-10/
I hosted a croquet tournament for 6 of the preppiest couples I know. The winners received custom oak plaques and bottles of my family’s wine, Southern Wicket Vineyards. Everyone wore seersuckers. TFM.
(I just know a theme for this series is going to be “I spoke too soon.” Tryhard level surpassed… And THEN you hopped on that new website, TotalFratMove to tell people about it! So, this was a dress up party? Or just coincidence? Also I think the plural of seersucker is just seersucker.)
https://archive.totalfratstg.wpengine.com/university-of-nebraska-2/
I’m tailgating at the Special Olympics. TFM
(Ok? I’m gonna need some more context, cause this could go either way.)
https://archive.totalfratstg.wpengine.com/arizona-state-4/
I frat because I care, ironically I’m also too frat to care. TFM.
(What a paradox! Or is this kind of Benevolent Detachment needed to achieve natty-lightenmen
https://archive.totalfratstg.wpengine.com/florida-atlantic-9/
I told a pledge if I made a half court shot in our courtyard that he had to have our dog lick peanut butter off his balls. I missed. I made him do it anyways.TFM
(URL says this came from Florida-Atlantic… one on one time with a pledge in his free time…ok. HOPING to land the shot and pull some homoerotic, borderline beastiality shit and then just doing it anything…ok.)
https://archive.totalfratstg.wpengine.com/sec-not-florida/
Wearing jean shorts, designer T’s, and spiking your hair. TFFM (total Florida frat move).
(Obviously shade. URL says “SEC-not-Florida” but they let it through as a wall post… Seems like something you’d see as a comment. Just weird, man. “Lol, let’s post this one as a joke on Florida”- OG TFM intern/editors?)
Because I am a benevolent host, here is a decent one for the road to cleanse the palate:
https://archive.totalfratstg.wpengine.com/texas-tech-9/
Just did a line off my dad’s face in the ’68 composite. TFM.
(That is a Move of a most Total Frat nature, indeed. Well done.)
The boys do live reaction to #ClassicTFM on Twitch sometimes. Go give it a follow on Twitch.tv/TotalFratMove and let them know that’s what you want to see. You could even have them react to my old articles! The streams are fun and flexible (like a shark!) while they’re happening.
Tell ‘em SharkWeek sent’cha!
