Yea man you’re soft. Hate to see it. But the good news is that you have the power to ensure your masculinity doesn’t take another hit by recognizing all the weak pussy moves you’re pulling every five minutes. Do better bro and maybe pick up a 45 lb dumbbell for once. You’ve been stuck on those 25’s for the last fucking year.
- Wearing gloves when you lift/not embracing bleeding/injury when lifting
- Not calling your mom on Mother’s Day
- Talking loud, walking fast, giggling
- Getting upset when girls reject you
- Arguing on Facebook or saying “I was so tempted to write back. Maybe I should delete my social media.” You weak beta!
- Not grunting when you lift/getting annoyed when other bros grunt. You probably wince at every other loud noise in your life too. Fix that.
- Being embarrassed to go to the gym alone or needing a gym buddy
- Looking at your phone to appear busy or spending too much time on the internet/computer rather than with your girl
- Shying away from confrontation
- Holding grudges/staying mad
- Getting really nervous before interviews or admitting that you’re nervous
- Being a cat person/sharing cat video videos
- Skipping songs repeatedly in the car cause you’re an excitable and fickle beta male if you haven’t caught on yet
- Driving anything more than 20 mpg (highway obviously)
- Gossiping about your roommates cause of your own insecurity
- Taking your gum out of the wrapper before chewing it
- Boba Tea or sipping any drink really slow
- Agreeing too much/being a ‘yes man’
- Taking back what you say after you say it
- Playing the victim/being offended & looking for a way out of situations/giving up
- Blaming your parents for shit/not talking to them
- Getting embarrassed when asked if you have a girlfriend yet
- “Can’t do spicy food”
- “She’ll change” or “We used to have chemistry” – weak sauce bro
- “Nah man, her and I just wanna stay friends”
- Double texting girls, opening a snap/responding back quicker than 20 min
- Not realizing you’re being led on and being upset after you realize
- Taking 2 rest days in a row from the gym
- Being a poor loser after any game
- Saying you’re ‘sorry’ at unnecessary times
- Skipping leg day/bragging about your days off from the gym
- Asking out/breaking up with a girl over text
- Taking more than 2 practice swings on the golf course and saying “good shot” the second your buddy hits the ball when you have no clue where the ball is going
- Holding a wine glass and aerating/preferring white over red/preferring wine in general
- “I can’t do beer” or critiquing beer
- Crossing your legs
- Regretting high school experiences
- Crying over a girl or worse…writing a song about it
- Saying “I should have joined a frat” after college
- Asking about the hazing process during bid week
- Lying about what you do for a job or exaggerating the hell out of stories
- Discussing zodiac signs
- Always being available and opening up about your life on the first date
- Not making a move/making too many moves
- Skipping through offensive parts of a movie…yikes bro
- Excessively cleaning your room, car, etc. like you’re on a fucking TLC ‘clean freaks’ reality show or something bro
- Blocking people you don’t like on social media/being petty on the gram or sending a novel long text explaining shit
- Letting your date change the plans
- Being too worried about how your hair looks or wearing shit that doesn’t match to attract attention
- Taking Instagram photos for girls/offering to be the cameraman….yikes
