Dear America,
I write to you about something weighing me down over the past few months, and I’ve finally garnered the nerve to speak on it. My job is more important than yours. I know what you’re thinking. But how about the delivery drivers who made sure we had survival necessities amid a pandemic and were forced to sweat through a mask delivering toilet paper, baking supplies, and other miscellaneous groceries for twelve hours a day? What about the single Mom from a small city in the midwest that helps her kid understand times tables between working the desk at Autozone and the night shift at Arby’s? What about the troops that risk their lives while hedge fund guys consult high-profile entrepreneurs on how whatever war we are engaging in to strip a poorer country of its resources will affect their portfolio? All those people are pieces of the puzzle, but I am the cornerpiece. Also, hate comments hurt more than bullets #sorrynotsorry.
I wear many hats. When Russia first invaded Ukraine, and my manager told me to proudly wave that flag emoji in my bio, I was a seat at the table with NATO, despite learning what that was three weeks later and still having a vague understanding of it. When I make a video reviewing a new variety pack of hard seltzer for $2500 plus other CPA incentives, I’m Anthony Bourdain. And when I dropped that shirt that read “cancer is bad, pride month is good, peace and love to all” of which 7.5% of proceeds went to LGBTQ support groups and cancer research centers, I not only ended homophobia, I did my part in curing cancer.
I came to LA with nothing but $25 in my checking account and my Dad’s twenty-three years working at Boeing Technologies of charisma. And to come from nothing to becoming an activist educating the younger generation on things I know nothing about is so, so important. It’s the being on the right side of history for me. So next time I don’t post a video because I have to read mean things; even though I get to be creative and famous for a living, have a little sympathy. And just remember, I’m not representing you. I’m doing my absolute best to cater to you while also not saying anything controversial because then I’ll lose money.
Best,
Your Favorite LA influencer