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Bryce Harper Got Smoked In The Face Last Night, Not In The Head, Nope In The Fucking Face

Just watching this makes me want to curl up in a ball and never get back up. This isn’t an off-speed pitch that stayed up in the zone; nope, this a 97MPH fastball straight to the face. It’s scary watching a player get smoked in the head. I can’t remember seeing a player getting slammed in the face. I would be sprawled out on the dirt and having chalk-drawn around me, but not Bryce Harper. This man was able to walk it off but was out for the rest of the game. He thankfully gave an update after the game.

The hot topic for baseball is that the game is dying. Nobody has the patience to watch a four hour game, where a pitcher takes 45 fucking seconds to decide which pitch to throw. You have players like Francisco Tatis Jr who have fun celebrations after hitting dingers, but then old ass people will say that he’s ruining the game. That baseball is a tradition that shouldn’t be changed. They even have fake ass rules like when Tatis Jr hit a grand slam when the Padres were up big, and they made such a stink about it that Tatis Jr had to apologize. You know what would make baseball exciting is having more fights. Baseball hasn’t taken the crown from basketball for being the softest sport, but it’s nowhere near hockey.

Hockey has fights, and everybody loves them. Whenever there’s a fight in baseball it goes viral. Remember a couple of years ago when Jose Bautista fought Rougned Odor it was all people could talk about. We need more fights like this it gets the boys buzzing.

I don’t want to sound like the old man yelling at the clouds, but I want more players like Nolan Ryan. I never even watched Nolan Ryan, but everybody knows the stories of players charging the mound and quickly regretting their decisions.

Everybody wants the National League to get a DH and have pitchers stop hitting. Instead, let’s change the entire DH and have that player be the designated fighter. If another Bryce Harper incident happens in my made-up baseball world, the DH would jump off the bench and charge the mound. The DH and GĂ©nesis Cabrera would throw hands and stick up for his star player. Then the reliever would think twice about throwing high and tight again.

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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