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Can You Pass Twitters Horny Test?

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The horny test was trending on Twitter this evening. With most things that are trending, most of the Tweets are why blank is trending. After scrolling for a couple of minutes, I figured out why, and it was because of these questions here. What would equal a passing score? Is answering yes to all of these questions considered passing, and you’re a certified horndog. Or is answering no means you’re one of these weirdos who are asexual.

Those first two answers I’m gonna let you answer and see how you did. Don’t lie; we all know you’ve jerked it at least once today. Starting with number 3, are you gonna masturbate before bed? How else would you fall asleep, you cum, and it’s instant sleep. There’s probably some science bullshit, but all I know is cumming equals sleep. You’re laying in bed; it’s been about 10 minutes, and you can’t fall asleep might as well go to old reliable and pull out your dick.

Number four is an answer that only you can answer. For number five, every dude will jump to say, hell yeah, I would love to have a threesome. There was a Tik Tok trend where girls would go up to their husband/boyfriend and say, let’s have a threesome, and then at the end, say with another dude and get their spouse’s response. Don’t lie; you can barely keep one woman happy in bed; what are you going to do with two?

Number six is the biggest cliche for men versus women. If you eat a girl out, it’s super out if they kiss you afterward, but if you get a blowjob, you want to be nowhere near those lips. I don’t understand what number seven is asking. Do I enjoy getting blowjobs? Do you give blowjobs? I’m confused. Number eight is every dude’s worst nightmare, not getting nudes but receiving them. How are you supposed to make your inchworm look good in a picture? You rely on the darkness of your bedroom. Everybody sexts; it’s the one area where us guys can seem like a sex animal and make promises that we defiantly can’t keep. Those last two questions are for you and you only. Since technically I sent this to you sup?

What do you think?

Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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