Who knew Dancing with the Stars is still on tv? I didn’t know this until they recently started promoting it during NFL games. I remember that Bill Nye was on it one year when I was younger, but they appear to rely on C-list celebrities and bored former athletes. I don’t know if this show is capable of being good, but I know it would be better featuring the following people than it will be with of Adrian Peterson, Lele Pons, and this guy.
Ezra Miller
This guy played Flash, and then proceeded to commit a catalogue of misdemeanors. He supposedly was involved in a kidnapping, some assaults, robbery, and some other small offenses. The studios protected him from legal punishment, so the least he could do to repay them is to show some of that insanity on tv while also learning a proper two-step.
Whoopi Goldberg
I honestly think I’m too young to know why Whoopi Goldberg is famous. My mom once told me about one of her movies, but I wasn’t paying attention. I just think that she would do really bad, and I would get a laugh out of it.
Vince Wilfork
This dude is crazy athletic for anyone’s size. He just happens to be much bigger than most people. Also, he would probably break out the no-shirt-and-overalls look that he made famous with the Texans. He’s the type of ex-athlete the show should be targeting.
Christian Bale
He might be a hard get for the show. Maybe if David O. Russell writes a script about a celebrity dancer, he’ll go on for preparation, though. I just want to see him snap at a judge the same way he snapped on that sound guy who got in his way. Also, he’s Christian Bale. He’d win easily.
Bill Clinton
This dude wanted out of politics as soon as he left The White House, but his wife is refuses to leave. He would probably welcome the opportunity to leave her for a few months to shoot, especially if he were given an attractive young partner. I think his dancing would be hilarious, and his presidential responses would be even better.
Sofia Vergara
I would just like to see her on all shows, all the time. She can probably dance, but no one will notice as long as they can match Modern Family’s tight dress budget.
Kris Jenner
This way, girls would know what it’s like when your favorite quarterback busts his knee because he’s washed up.
The Crazy Plane Lady
I feel like we stopped paying attention to her a little too quickly. Most people remember that she was insane, but she was also super-hot. Who knows, maybe she can dance.
