Skip Bayless might be punching air at the idea that this list is even being made. I don’t care. Lavar Ball can beat Michael Jordan in a game of one on one, so why can’t these five guys offer a combination of grit and chaos that LeBron couldn’t even handle on a basketball court.
Greg “The Egg” Hirsch, Succession
He’s got the height and reach to make LeBron uncomfortable in his shooting motion. He’s also criminally overlooked everywhere he goes. LeBron would earn a comfortable lead in this game before Greg the Egg locks in and goes for 11 straight points. A deceptively athletic forward who is dangerous with the ball in his hands. Final score: 11-9, Egg.
Christopher Moltisanti, The Sopranos
Look at Daryl Strawberry’s baseball reference page if you don’t believe that someone can be a dominant athlete while playing high out of their mind. Moltisanti also offers excellent trash talk ability, and a genuine belief that he’s the best at everything. Christopher wins this game by pulling a hand gun on LeBron after he scores to make it 9-9.
Jim Halpert, The Office
If Scranton had a decent high school basketball program, Jim Halpert would’ve made it to the NBA. Back when that show was good, they let Jim Halpert dominate his coworkers in basketball because they underestimated him. LeBron would do the same. Tim Duncan could learn from his technique. Halpert wins, 11-6.
Thad Castle, Blue Mountain State
I simply think Thad is a better athlete, who wants to win more. LeBron’s finesse will prove to be difficult, but Thad’s physicality in the paint will prove to be too much for the second-best basketball player of all time. Thad wins, 12-10.
Homelander, The Boys
This is the only person I’d root against in a one-on-one matchup against LeBron. Unfortunately, his ability to fly would make him pretty dominant at basketball. Homelander wins, 11-0.
