You’re 18 years old; you have a nervous excitement flowing through your body as your parents drop you off in a world without parenting, without the confines of your childhood home and freedom. Are you going to like your roommate, who is this new person that you’re forced to live with, and will this person be a friend for life? Then you walk in, and you’ve been told that the $10,000 you pay in room and board will randomly put you in a prison unit. You are forced to room with everybody in a conference room. Those awesome LED lights or that TFM poster you bought will have no home as your walls are bookshelves and other random furniture. Your new home looks like a fort you made in your parent’s basement when you were 12.
You think you’re off to this great university where you will better yourself, learn about the world, and that the debt you will be in forever will be worth it. Instead, you signed up to live like you’re in either basic training for the army or you have been sentenced to life in prison.
Since I dropped out after one semester of a community college that didn’t have dorms, I didn’t fully experience dorm life. But my friends all lived in dorms, I stayed a couple of nights with my friends in their dorms after a night of underage partying, and I’ve watched plenty of movies where they have no idea what dorm life is. There’s a long list of questions. What are you going to do when you bring a girl home? Hey, wanna fuck while a room full of horny teenagers are listening, and they will definitely put this in their spank bank? Is there a rotating clock of when people can jerk off, or will everyone be jerking it simultaneously? Say goodbye to all clothing or anything you find valuable everything is going to be stolen. There will be fistfights over people stealing phone and laptop chargers. I hope you’re not self-conscious over your body cause everybody will be able to see you in your undies.
This isn’t the first time that this happened in Purdue; back in 2018, they accepted a shit ton of freshmen and had to do this prison setup. Supposedly this isn’t permanent, and by October, all freshmen will be moved into real dorms. That’s a long time to deal with these living conditions. How about this Purdue? Maybe everything should be ready to go when the first day of school rolls around. It’s not like it’s a surprise everybody knows the first day of school. This isn’t a paper due at midnight and isn’t something that you need to rip lines of Adderal to finish.
