For part one…
31. Carl Gallagher Shameless (Netflix)
It’s mind-boggling how long Shameless has been running. Ethan Cutkosky, who by the way is 5’5, sorry for ruining the one girl reading this’ day, started playing Carl when he was nine years old. In a show defined by imperfection, I think Carl is the only character through and through that is unhatable in every season (MAYBE Kevin). Carl’s arc from being the type of middle school kid who snorts smarties to going to jail for dealing drugs, trying ROTC, and finally becoming a leader in the Gallagher household is interesting. Full disclosure, I haven’t seen the last season of this show, but I can’t wait to see where the writers decide to leave Carl.
30. Pablo Escobar Narcos (Netflix)
Sure, we all know some of the story of Pablo Escobar and how it ends. However, Narcos’ ability to portray the amount of money, power, and control he had over the entire western hemisphere through Wagner Moura’s performance was incredible. I wouldn’t slap a “must watch” stamp on Narcos, but the next time you’re sick, definitely body two seasons of it.
29. Bender Futurama (HBO Max)
Hand up, a little bit of recency bias here because for the last two weeks, I’ve been ripping the pen and falling asleep to Futurama. I understand that twenty-nine might be a little high for a fictional robot in a show where an extremely fuckable cyclops has made one too many of you google some suspect things. With that being said, if you don’t like Futurama, you’re kind of an asshole. I would put it right up there with That ’70s Show in the “comfort television” department. Everything about Bender is kind of funny. He’s an alcoholic robot with one of the best catch-phrases in television history. BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS!
28. Rodney Ruxin The League (Hulu)
The League is, without a doubt, the most underrated comedy in the history of TV. I understand that a lot of potential viewers were probably turned off by it because of the pertinence of football, but my ex-girlfriend is the one that put me on the league a few years ago. If you don’t like football, it’s hilarious; if you like football, it’s even funnier than that. Rodney Ruxin is the perfect heel for his friend group. He’s a lawyer with a smoking hot wife that seamlessly gets away with being an asshole, and it makes for great situational comedy. He’s self-centered, ruthless to his friends, and a horrible father. The episode where Ruxin gets caught jacking off to pictures of bras is comedy genius.
27. Snooki/Mike The Situation Jersey Shore (Hulu)
I had to put ONE reality TV star in the mix, and it just made sense to take the two best characters from Jersey Shore. I’m not going to waste my breath too much because all of you have seen the show, but I mean… C’MON. Mike banging his head against a wall in Italy and Snooki searching for the beach…while on the beach are two examples of one of the only shows that PERFECTED the concept of reality television.
26. Galina “Red” Reznikov Orange Is The New Black (Netflix)
I think the thing that Orange Is The New Black executed best (and let’s be honest, they ripped off the style from Lost and Prison Break) is the show’s ability to interconnect storylines from before we meet a character to that character in the present. Before prison, Red’s life was fascinating- dealing with the Russian mafia because her husband was a gigantic pussy, and taking the fall for five dead Russian bodies in her freezer. Red is the matriarch of the prison, and her loyalty to her “girls” is second to none. She does everything in her power to make sure that the people that matter the most to her are taken care of while serving their respective sentences. If she was friends with any girl you’ve fucked over in your life, you would no longer have a dick.
25. Blair Waldorf Gossip Girl (Netflix)
I was for sure forced to watch Gossip Girl by one of my ex girlfriends and absolutely hated every second of it haha. Definitely. It would be really, really sus if we broke up after the second season and I finished the show by myself because I liked it that much. Whatever. If I WAS to have enjoyed this show, I probably would have put Blair Waldorf on this list because she’s a bitch, but in the best way. She is a horrible person throughout most of the series, but with many redeeming qualities that you see as you begin to learn more about her life. In a similar fashion to Sawyer from Lost, you hate her at first, yet you find yourself loving her over time. Also, she’s got some Tomi Lahren-type sex appeal. She is so aggressively mean that it’s fucking hot.
24. Jim Lahey Trailer Park Boys (Netflix)
I think we can all agree that Trailer Park Boys is in no way a cult series anymore. EVERYBODY can find TPB funny after a bong rip or two. There are a lot of elite alcoholic characters (Frank Gallagher, Homer Simpson, Jimmy McNulty, to name a few), but none other is greater than Jim Lahey. The best antagonist of any show, Lahey supervisors the park and its debauchery with a bottle of whiskey in hand. Trailer Park Boys is an elite show that I hope to god nobody ever watches sober. Don’t say Canada never gave us anything.
23. Dennis Reynolds It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Hulu)
The funniest thing about Dennis Reynolds? It’s not his obsession with himself, how manipulative he is to the gang, or Glenn Howerton’s Julliard background integrating with Dennis for legendary comedic moments of pure rage- it’s his unintentional character development throughout Sunny. Rob McElhenney and Charlie Day did not originally write Dennis as a pseudo-serial killer that would threaten to turn his sisters’ skin into luggage if the time was right, it just unintentionally happened. Dennis Reynolds’ transformation into a legitimate psychopath is one of the many things that make TV’s longest-standing scripted comedy a masterpiece. I would also argue that having a sort-of-but-definitely sexually predatory character like Dennis would NEVER get written by any TV comedy today. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is one of TV’s last great comedies because of their long leash to do what others can’t.
22. Jack Donaghy 30 Rock (Hulu)
Jack Donaghy accidentally killed a Mother, he does a below-average Trump impersonation that far too many people find hysterical, and he’s wildly narcissistic…oh shit, never mind, that’s just Alec Baldwin. But seriously, the only reason Jack Donaghy’s neurosis and quick-witted insults hit every time is that Alec Baldwin NAILED this character. Donaghy illustrates the successful Irish-Catholic Boomer who left the corporate office as soon as cancel culture built some steam and say what you want about him; he was hilarious.
21. Steve Harrington Stranger Things (Netflix)
Yeah, I’m corny, sue me. I wouldn’t say I’m the ideal demo the Duffer brothers had in mind when they wrote the first few seasons of Stranger Things, but I’m man enough to admit that I liked it…a lot. Steve’s transition from the asshole that was fucking Mike’s sister to an older-brother-type role model to the kid that I see in every fucking commercial ever is wholesome. Also, his hair FUCKS.
