in

The Masters: Inflation’s Worst Nightmare

Starting tomorrow, one of the greatest weekends in sports begins; The Masters. My appreciation for golf has grown exponentially as I’ve gotten older and I truly am ecstatic to watch the best golfers in the world compete over the next four days. But, the pursuit of the green jacket isn’t what I admire most about The Masters. In fact, my greatest fascination with this weekend has nothing to do with the sport itself, but rather with the pimento cheese sandwiches sold at the concession stand.

This menu might be more beautiful than Augusta National itself. If I went to watch any other major sporting event in person, I would have to take out a mortgage to simply purchase a hot dog and beer from the concessions. Sure, tickets for The Masters are decently expensive, but who cares? $1.50 for some decadent pimento cheese is such a great deal that I would sell my first child just to be able to visit this god-send of a concession stand. Top to bottom, this menu shows absolutely no sign of inflated prices. Augusta National could have charged just about anything for a beer at The Masters, but five bucks is an incredibly fair price. Forget Starbucks, get yourself a Masters Blend fresh brewed coffee and blueberry muffin for just three dollars!

I hope to go watch The Masters at least once in my lifetime, but even if I don’t end up having the luxury to do so, this pinnacle of professional golf will forever leave me with one lesson: don’t overpay for concessions. I will undoubtedly be smuggling PB&J’s and warm beers into the next live NBA or NFL game I go to, just so I don’t fall victim to capitalism as I have so many times before. I recommend that you do the same.

Written by the godfather

To comment, fill out your name and email below.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Masters Preview 

Buzkashi: The World’s Craziest Sport