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The MCU Sucks Ass

LOS ANGELES, CA - APRIL 30: Actor Robert Downey Jr. arrives at the Los Angeles Premiere "Iron Man" at the Grauman's Chinese Theater on April 30, 2008 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)

The Marvel Cinematic Universe used to be the best cinematic universe of all time. From the first Iron Man, all the way to Avengers Endgame. Film after film, banger after banger. What started out as comic book heroes getting their origin stories adapted to the big screen, has now turned into a sloppy mess of a story that is clearly just a cash grab at this point. There is no clear plan for what they’re going for and they stuff they have been releasing this last year or so, has straight-up sucked ass. More on that later, for now I wanna take a stroll down memory lane.

You’re sitting in the movie theater in 2016 watching trailers. The night before you rewatched Ant-Man and Avengers: Age of Ultron. Shit, you even rewatched Winter Soldier because it was that good. The trailers cut to black and then all of a sudden you hear the intro music of the MCU title. You’re horny. You’re about to watch Captain America Civil god damn War. The hype for this movie had been insane. See, that’s how I used to feel. But now, I feel no hype when I sit down to watch a Marvel movie or show. Unless it’s Loki. That shows amazing. But, for She-Hulk (atrocious), Mrs. Marvel (Boring as hell), Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Midness, and, recently, Ant-Man 3. All these shows look like they needed way more time to for their special effects. She-Hulk and Hulk’s special effects look worse then any other movie they have appeared in. How is that even possible? Aren’t we supposed to be improving effects in movies and not regressing? Also, why the hell is Meg the Stallion in She-Hulk? Her part was straight up cringe.

Look all I am trying to say is that Marvel has not hit since the end of phase 3 and it’s just a fact. I don’t know whether this is just me being like an old man and just wanting the same cast and characters as the ones from my childhood and teenagehood. But, this new shit sucks. I find more and more dumb and unfunny shit in everything I watch. And I would say, maybe I am just growing out of Marvel and growing up into a man, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I am still a fuck head! I black out multiple times every weekend and when I am not blacked out, I am watching dumb shit. I rewatch Breaking Bad almost every month. I listen to comedians podcasts on Youtube. And I still find most of the new Star Wars shit that comes out, entertaining! Marvel needs to figure it out and hope that Jonathan Majors can put the MCU on his back and be half as good of a Villian as Thanos.

Written by Danny Serrano

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