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The World’s Greatest Question: T*ts or A*s?

In whatever rudimentary language they had, I’m sure even cavemen asked themselves this question. How could they not have? In my eyes, there isn’t a single other one can be asked that has more potential to create philosophic debate than even “What came first: the chicken or the egg?”. Because of that, I’m taking this blog more seriously than I did most of my college essays. I’ve mapped out the pros of both sides (I didn’t feel the need to include cons because, let’s face it, there aren’t any cons), and I will make my assessment on the better of the two based on the pros. Finally, I’ll deliver my reasoning for my conclusion. Let’s talk about some tits and ass:

Pros of tits:

1. They feel good

2. They’re fun to look at

3. They’re nice to grab onto

4. It’s really fun to touch them

5. They’re super awesome

Pros of asses: 

1. They feel good

2. They’re fun to look at

3. They’re nice to grab onto

4. It’s really fun to touch them

5. They’re super awesome

Conclusion?

Interesting. After listing the pros of each I realized that the reasons both are great are actually identical. As I said before, there are no cons to either, so I realize now that I’ll have to think about which of the two I personally feel are better and defend my reasoning as best I can.

Research

I’ve been looking at pictures of both tits and ass for the past twenty minutes. Not only am I rocking a lil’ Steve Stifler right now, but I’ve also come to a conclusion. Approximately half of my audience will scroll down to the downvote button after reading what I think, but I ask that if you are in that group that you give me a chance to fully explain my thoughts and reasoning.

Decision

Well, here it is: I believe that tits are better than ass. That’s my opinion, and I think that it’s the only opinion that I have that I’d actually say, “Agree to disagree,” when someone doesn’t feel the same way. But I do truly believe that tits are better than ass, and now it’s time to tell you why. Like any guy, I love both, but which do I like better? That one made me think about my own body, and I remembered that I have an ass phatter than any girl I’ve ever met in person. Even if you don’t carry the same junk in your trunk that I do in mine, if you’re a human being, you have an ass. The tits, though, are unique to women. It’s because of that, and only because of that, that I like them better. The deeper question, I’ve realized, is not, “Which one do I like better?” No, it’s: “Would I rather have only tits or only ass?” That’s the one that makes me really think. I think that one is truly unanswerable for me. 

What do you think?

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Written by VinegarStrokes

Above average intelligence, below average weiner.

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