In the earliest days of TFM the About Us tab said:
“We started TotalFratMove.com as a way for the upstanding members of this Nation’s finest Greek communities to share entertaining comments and stories. If you are offended by the content on this site, it is most likely because you do not understand our humor. Don’t worry, we don’t expect you to.”
While I do have faith in most people of this readership, especially those who read yours truly, let me just make double-triple sure that we are all on the same page. The Frat Romance Novel uses some salty language. Darren says an F word for homosexuals twice to refer to some heterosexuals… Frankly, I think I’m making a bigger deal of it than anyone reading will care about but I’m both a fan of the pieces (there are several Romance Novels) and also a guy who appreciates making every decent person feel comfortable even if they ultimately “do not understand our humor,” at the end of the day, but DO understand it was only humor, even at the time.
So, hopefully it’s pretty telling how good this series is that I felt like sharing it even with the momentary linguistic hiccup. I got several other things lined and could have left this one out all together. But I didn’t. So I’m taking this risk for you. Don’t let me down; finish reading, click that link, and get back to me either here on on Twitter.
With ALLLLLL that out of the way: The Frat Romance Novel. It’s where the protagonist is Faf, and most people speak normally other than the girl (who has secret desires and only the slightest ability to control touching herself in public) and her geed boyfriend, who both speak like they are in Game of Thrones… maybe. I dunno. I’ve never seen it.
https://archive.totalfratstg.wpengine.com/the-frat-romance-novel/
Some Highlights:
Caroline’s heart was aflutter. She could barely control the rush of sexuality that overcame her as she slowly moved her hand up her thigh toward her loins. Suddenly she snapped out of it and stopped herself, remembering the embarrassing lesson she learned after drinking a fifth of vodka and watching a daylong lacrosse tournament on the very same field.
… (after the intramural game)
“Who the fuck is that?” Darren asked Kyle.
“Who? Oh that girl? I was gonna ask you. She was staring at you all game. I could’ve sworn she touched her nipples when you scored that last touchdown.”
…
“CAROLINE!”
All the excitement and moisture left Caroline as quickly as it had come. Her nipples softened as fear filled her body. Darren turned, searching for the source of the yell. Caroline already knew who it was. Cody, the man she was beholden to. Darren turned back to Caroline.
“Who is that?”
“It’s Cody,” she whispered as tears filled her eyes. “You and I should never have spoken.”
“Is he your boyfriend?”
“Yes, I am beholden to him.”
“What?”
Cody, a short man with fire in his eyes and large, extra pockets on his shorts, stormed across the field towards the pair.
…
“Yes, I am beholden to him.”
“What the fuck does that even mean?” Darren replied angrily. “Is that a yes?”
“She is mine,” reiterated Cody.
“Okay, whatever. This conversation has been nothing but creepy. If you feel like ditching your geed boyfriend come by my fraternity tonight.”
Things get only hotter, heavier, and more Faf from there! Make sure to check it out and let me know what you think!
