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You Never Know When A Flying Dildo Might Strike

Is that a bird, a plane? No, it’s a flying dildo. Do you know what makes local campaigns for Mayor better? A dildo attached to a drone flying in front of somebody giving a speech. A fiery speech, a pump-up song is nothing compared to a dildo flying in the air. This resulted in mayhem when the area owner snatched the drone out of the air, and Kaelan Ashby Dreyer tried to grab the drone and punched Gonzalez. What do you expect? This is better than trying to grab a foul ball. If you see a flying dildo, you need to grab that before it vanishes in thin air; it’s like a god damn unicorn.

Gonzalez, who is running for mayor and was interrupted by the dildo drone, said that this was an attempt to ruin his campaign. I figured that Albuquerque, New Mexico, was a small town or something in the desert of New Mexico; I didn’t get the best grades in Geography; no, Albuquerque is the biggest city in New Mexico literally has an area called the War Zone. If your city has a place called the War Zone, a flying dildo is the least of your worries. How are you supposed to handle the War Zone if a flying dildo interrupts your campaign?

The most rational thing to do here is figure that this is sabotage. This is what Gonzalez believes.

“By now people have seen the video where Manny was interrupted by a drone with an adult toy attached to it. No question it was disruptive, rude and immature,” Keller campaign manager Neri Holguin told the Albuquerque Journal. “We denounce demeaning antics and urge residents to participate in the political process in a respectful manner.” “Manny Gonzales is trying to associate me with Tim Keller or radical leftist behavior,” Dreyer told the Journal. “I’m not a fan of Tim Keller either and identify as libertarian.”

Vice

People’s brains are broken, and it’s hilarious. Dreyer and Keller are both off the hook after Twitter user Dongcopter505 took full responsibility. So if you’re running for office, watch out cause a Dongcopter might attack.

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Written by Mailman Dave

Just a regular mailman who wants to sit around and write about sports​

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