Dear VinegarStrokes,

First of all, I would like to say that I was talking about your blogs in a casual conversation with friends and I mentioned your pen name (VinegarStrokes) and all my friends were dying laughing. Directly after I learned the real meaning of your name and I was embarrassed for not knowing to say the least. 

But I’m not here to dissect the brutal imagery that comes with your alias. I’m here to give you and all the rest of the fellas some answers from your blog about the infamous and ever so awkward: Brazilan Wax.

Let’s start with your first question; why? Well, us lucky lil ladies are blessed with having hair that grows a tremendous amount in our coochie area. Common (graphic) information, yes. But, no one wants to see or deal with that shit so we have three options: shave, laser, or wax. Shaving is tiresome, must be done every other day, and can leave us with razor burn, which borderline looks like herpes. Laser is expensive and is not in most college girls’ budgets. Which leaves us with the Brazilian option. 

A Brazillian gets all up in there, doesn’t break the bank, and keeps us worry and bump free for about 2-3 weeks.

Let’s continue answering your hard hitting questions:

Wouldn’t it be way easier and way less painful to just shave it?

Short answer: yes.

Is there some sort of special thing that goes on while you guys do that?

Besides the awkward conversations about what your plans are for the weekend while the lady is fingers deep in your asshole, no not really. 

Once you’re there, what is it like?

For most of us, we drive all the way there for the appointment and pysch ourselves out when we get there. Which is why most salons have a $50 “no show” fee because it happens THAT often. When we finally get the balls to go in there’s a mutual understanding between everyone there that they are there to get their coochie pulled and cleared. It’s an all around bizarre concept. Then a girl your age or drastically older (there usually isn’t a happy medium) comes out and leads you to the room. They tell you to take your pants off and give you a cloth to put over your stomach if you want. They leave the room, give you 5 minutes to get naked and just to come back in and get to work. Again, we realize how crazy this whole thing sounds but it’s not something you can really do on your own. 

Do they give you guys a lemonade or something to sip on while it all goes down?

Nope, just instructions to spread ’em and stay strong. I thought about drinking before to take the edge off but like tattoos, it only makes it hurt more.

Are you making friendly conversation while some lady is yanking out your pubes straight from the fucking roots?

Yes. One time we were talking and I found out that me and the girl were going on the same fucking vacation with a big group of mutual friends which was overall horrfic. 

Do you just do the female version of shirt-cocking it once you get in there, or is it easier to strip all your clothes off.

Siri, what does shirt-cocking it mean? Exactly what you think it would you fucking idiot. So in that case, yes. 

How badly does it hurt?

REALLY FUCKING BAD!


My great grandmother used to always say “You must suffer to be beautiful.” Which I now realize, along with Brazillian Waxes…is really fucked up.

Hope this helps, in the meantime please understand that manscaping isn’t all that bad compared to the tourture we endure. 

XOXO,

The Ladies

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Written by Grace O'Malley

If Carrie Bradshaw drank a little bit too much and was originally from Boston...

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