I think we all saw this one coming. I fell asleep watching The 40-Year-Old Virgin last night, so the idea of hair being covered in hot wax and then forcefully and painfully ripped off of the body was pretty fresh in my brain when I woke up this afternoon. Because of that, it was a pretty simple jump to today’s topic when I sat down to write this blog. What’s the deal with the Brazilian?
First of all, I’d like to say that I do actually know what it is. Not that it should be too much of an accomplishment, but I am putting out there that I believe I know more about this than I do most of the stuff I write to you guys about. The information I’m looking for this week starts simply with one question: why? I’m not saying I don’t appreciate it. God knows I appreciate it. I love that you’re willing to do it. But seriously, wouldn’t it be way easier and way less painful to just shave it? Is there some sort of special thing that goes on while you guys do that? I’m just trying to understand what would draw a woman to continuously subject herself to that. Again, I’m not complaining that it happens even a little bit, but I’m extremely interested in the decision-making process behind it.
And once you’re there, what is it like? I mean the thought of someone spreading wax on my junk and ripping it out is as close as I think of to living a nightmare in real life, so I do truly want to understand what the whole vibe is in there. Do they give you guys a lemonade or something to sip on while it all goes down? Are you making friendly conversation while some lady is yanking out your pubes straight from the fucking roots? Do you just do the female version of shirt-cocking it once you get in there, or is it easier to strip all your clothes off. I feel like personally, I’d rather be fully naked, but that’s just me. How badly does it hurt? Because based on how Steve Carrell reacted to his waxing, it certainly seems like it’s a kick in the dick level of pain.
I can tell you for a fact that I’ll never let anybody wax my scrotum, but if there is a way other than reciprocating my pubes getting completely decimated by what I imagine to be the Happy Ending Massage’s evil twin, you guys just let me know because I mean it when I say how awesome it is that you guys do that.