During your time at college, you’ll inevitably meet a whole bunch of new people, and while some of these people might be great at conversing, more likely than not you’ll end up having some pretty damn awkward conversations. But, don’t fret, because you always have the old reliable, “did you play any sports in high school?”, that never fails to spark at least two-and-a-half more minutes of conversation. Even if you never talk to these people again, their high school sports will tell you all you need to know about them. Here is what your high school sport says about you:
Football
Everyone played football. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Being a football player gives you absolutely no indication of someone’s athletic ability. Any given football guy could be either one of the strongest people you’ll ever meet or fit in perfectly with the Special Olympics. But, something you can be 100% confident in when someone says they played football in high school is their unusual comfort with being utterly naked around other people. I mean, I can’t personally attest to being naked in a football locker room, but I’m sure it’s not all that.
Baseball
If you played baseball in high school, odds are you’re a major try-hard in just about everything but school. They’re the type to wear eye black and compression pants to an intramural softball game. Occasionally, you’ll run into a club baseball player who tells every girl that he “plays baseball for the school” and prays they don’t ask if it’s the D1 squad. With that being said, the baseball guys are usually some of the most fun dudes you will ever be around, so cut them some slack.
Lacrosse
Imagine the stereotypical “frat guy” that has a crippling addiction to Zyns. That’s literally all you need to know about former lacross players. You’re welcome.
Basketball
I’ll try not to be too biased here since I am a former hooper myself, but generally basketball players are pretty chill guys. They still probably rock the Nike Elite backpack they’ve had since 7th grade and almost always prefer to stay in and play 2k on Friday nights. Their room typically smells like a combination of dirty laundry and leftover pizza – somehow never realizing it – but that Air Jordan flag they got on Amazon totally makes up for it. If you take away one thing from this description, be hesitant to lend these guys money as they have a crippling addiction to betting on obscure sports and will probably never pay you back.
